Thursday, April 15, 2010

Injustice! Or, the post where I jump on my soapbox about people who harm children, when they signed up to care for them

Whew. Several things in the past few days have had me crying, "Injustice! It's just not fair! What can I do about it?!?"
This whole deal with Russia and the lady who's name escapes me at the moment. Granted, I don't know the specifics, and granted I have yet to adopt... But as a parent, you DO NOT have the right to send your child away! Might you need outside help? Certainly. Can love and hugs solve everything? Sometimes not. But when you make a decision to become a parent, regardless of how that happens, you make the decision to love that child FOREVER - NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO OR DO NOT DO!!! Regardless of whether your child becomes the president or is never able to live completely independent, they deserve your undivided, whole and complete love. Sometimes that love is tough and shown through discipline - not abuse - and sometimes it's an arm around the shoulder and "I don't understand, but I love you and will do anything to help you and support you!" Love is NEVER putting a lost, scared, angry, hurt child on a plane because they are somehow "too damaged" for you. I understand in extreme situations love even means having to have your child admitted to a treatment facility that may feel like abandonment, but to cheapen the life of a child by putting a return policy on them is just sick. EVERY child deserves a mother's love, a father's concern. So there's my stance on that.
I've recently been introduced to some different perspectives from adult adoptees. More injustice! A pastor, Tony Nolan, whose story you should really hear, went through all kinds of hell in the foster care system and then adoption... And a random stranger with a story that makes me both sad and angry. Again, when you sign up for fostering and/or adoption, you sign up for becoming a responsible, loving parent. It sounds harsh, but I wonder if there is a special place in hell, reserved for those who harm children and are never sorry and never change. As I've already mentioned, ALL children deserve to be loved and cared for. When you make the decision to care for children in foster care or adoption, you make it your responsibility to ensure those children are loved and cared for. Throwing a baby down the stairs just for kicks and gambling purposes, reminding them how much you "paid for them," threatening to "send them back" or telling them you could/should do so is OFF-LIMITS, even as a joke. The thought of such dispicable actions brings me to tears and leaves me wanting to find someone in a dark alley... Mark my words, I will do everything in my power to let my children know that I would do anything for them, I will never turn them away or send them back, and they can tell me anything - nothing is taboo. Oh, and it would probably be smart to never even look like you might be thinking about hurting one of my babies. Just sayin'.
So. What to do, where to go next? I plan to keep reading, to educate myself on all angles of the adoption triad, and pointing out injustice where I see it.
And for now, I'm trying to stop coughing and keep breathing and sleep without getting choked. Pollen sucks.

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