Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Dreaded Announcement, as always followed by the Dreaded Question

So instead of coming home to clean house tonight like I'd planned, my older sister needed help with the boys. Of course I put my housework on the back burner (ugh, my house is gonna evict me one day soon!)
B-I-L's cousin came over while we were playing outside. (Former) d.rug addi.ct, who was worried about g.iving b.irth again simply because of the p.ain m.eds. You guessed it... She's expecting her second. Pardon me for not being thrilled, on so many levels. Thankfully the middle boy and his cousin were then tangled on the ground fighting over a toy, so the Fun A.unt went to break it up.
When I came back, my sister had resumed her flower planting, and I was really trying to avoid the Question(s) that follow The Announcement. My response was something like well, we don't really know.... Which is true, we don't really know, because adoption takes a long time. And we're still 10 months from applying. It always catches me off guard, and I'm never really prepared to give the answer I can type out so easily. That, and the computer won't ask me questions I'm not prepared to answer --- and if it does, I can turn it off, mull it over, and come back later! When I got home, hubby was on the phone with his aunt (the one with the new grandchild), who apparently has planned for all of us to get together Thurs. night to swim and eat. Hubby has a test to finish out his fire class, so he told aunt that he would come when he was finished, but that I would probably be more than happy to come when I got off work. Uh, thanks, dude. I just cried my way home, and now you're volunteering me to go hang out with in-laws with a new baby, who always bring up the subject of "So, you know it's YOUR TURN now!!!"
Sitting here staring at an empty container of B'en and Je'rry's cho.c fu.dge browni.e, wishing I had more than a few spoonsful. Kinda glad I don't, because I'm attempting to lose some weight again. Which is kinda impossible when you're already feeling down. Because darn it, maybe I can't make babies, but I can throw down on some food. And chocolate always helps.
Sigh.... I should be in bed right now, because the OPK says it's time... If I just had the energy. Ha. One day, I will have the energy, be skinny again, not pay attention to the time, have a clean house, AND smile and tell the truth when asked The Question. For now, I'll just make a stop and pick up some more ice cream tomorrow after work. My friends B.en and J.erry never ask me questions, or comment on my cycle, weight, or house.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

So I'm a slacker...

....Or just trying to survive, maybe? Headache Central around here. Since Sunday. You know, as in a week from tomorrow. It hasn't been this frequent for many years. I take the E.xcedr!n M.!graine, it goes away, and either later in that day or the next morning, it's back.
And I'm tired. And I want to sleep. And I di not want to clean house or wash dishes or regain order in my closet. Laundry is getting washed and dried, and dumped on the growing pile in the living room.
I have managed to play with most of the kids, and hubby is trying to help where he can.
Monday brings chaperoning to a theme-and-waterpark-rolled-into-one. I've basically got a 3-day weekend, followed by a 3-day week, then another 3-day weekend. Friday, we are closed, but hubby hsa to work. I keep telling myself that this is the day I will completely clean house, organize chaos, and even start cleaning out the spare room and trying to get rid of useless (to us) junk.
You know, if my head's not hurting.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Brief update...

Baby out of body cast. Not walking yet, but crawling everywhere, and happy to move!!

VBS over... (6) 2-to-4-year-olds, and an 18-month-old. One teacher. (not me) One Mama. (not me again) One kid-wrangler. (that would be me) Seriously, I spent the week leaving work on time or late, going straight to the church, and picking up, holding, placing in the proper activity, etc, 6 or 7 kids for 2 and a half hours. I loved it, because they were (mostly) precious little ones and still liked to be held and needed help with motions at music time and loved crawling in my lap. It also made me know FO SHO I don't really want 6 of my own at the same age. Wait. I'm not even sure I want 6, total. 2 or 3 would be nice. You know, one at a time. But if God gave them to me all at once, it would be okay and we would make it.

Even the Fun Aunt has her limits... She slept in today, woke up with a swollen face/hands/feet.... And now it's time for some grown-up fun. Hubby and I have a rare day home together, with no plans and nobody extra to take care of. We're debating a trip to the zoo, but definitely making a trip to the Big City later, for ice cream treat only available at one place, and special dinner with mood lighting and no screaming, crying kids.

Peace out.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Burning Houses and Resolving IF

No, they're not related... My sister left some oil on the stove and failed to turn it off yesterday. The whole house didn't really burn down or anything, but she needs a new stove, cabinets, all the food is fried, the ceiling and walls are black, there's a lot of damage throughout the house. So much for cleaning my house and getting organized and all that jazz. Last night, I was watching the 5-month and 5-year-old nephews at my mom's house, while making homemade lasagna for my sister-in-law and her kids. Whew. Shout out to all the Mama's that do such stuff on a regular basis. Insurance should cover most stuff, but they're rather displaced for a while. The important thing is everyone is okay.
Resolving IF.... This has been on my mind for a while.And Mel from Stirrup Queens has been blogging about it. I told my sister-in-law months ago that before I became a Mama, I wanted and needed to be okay with NOT being Mama. My initial thought when given hubby's D'x was, "Well, we'll just adopt!" It didn't take me long to learn that "just adopt"-ing wasn't going to "fix" alllllllll those other issues with our lack of reproduction. And not that "just adopt"-ing is as simple as I would like. Ha. haha. hahaha.
Regardless of how smooth adoption goes, the adoption experience comes with its own matching set of luggage. If you start out on a trip with a lot of baggage, knowing you'll be adding more on the next leg of the trip, you're gonna get bogged down. You can't make it through the airport. Or maybe you can make it, but it will take multiple trips through the same winding hallways. Or maybe some important things get left behind. Or trampled on. It's so much easier to keep the baggage to a minimum from the beginning.
So we have less than 11 months before we can start any paperwork. We're not making any major decisions this soon. I think my time would be better spent not on keeping up with every little change in every little country, but in working on myself and getting rid of some baggage. Ideally, I'd love just one trip with no checked luggage, please. :)

Monday, June 8, 2009

Ready to Parent

In the midst of Body Cast Boy, another nephew had some major (but outpatient) surgery involving his throat (don't want it g.oogl.ed, you can figure it out). And my older sister and b-i-l had to go out of town about 3 hours away, for some on-the-job-t.eaching stuff. My sister was going to have all 3 boys (ages 5 & 3 years and 5 months) mostly by herself, so my mom and I volunteered to tag-team the baby. She kept him while I was at work, and I got him in the afternoons and he spent the night for 3 nights. It was a little daunting at first, here's a little guy I'm totally responsible for, and for 3 days??? I thought I would be ready for him to go home...
(You know where this is going, right?) I wanted to be at the hospital for his cousin's surgery, so we packed up and went. Mommy picked up her little dude from our parents' home later that afternoon... Everybody went home to rest and recover from trips and surgeries and baby-sitting... I go home, sat on the couch, and wondered what to do next. There was no little squirmy fellow wanting a bottle. Nobody wanted to be held, or put on the blanket in the floor to play. No bottles to fix, no diapers to change, no breathing to listen for, no squeals and chatter. I was lost!!!
I'm pretty sure that's a good sign I'm more and more ready to parent. Granted, 3 days isn't an incredible amount of time, and it was only 1 little guy who couldn't get into anything, but more than ever I desire a little one in our house permanently.