Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Prayers, please

Disclaimer: please excuse all @'s, *'s, 1's, and incorrect spelling - attempting to keep the g00gling family members away!!!
My uncle R, his wife D, and her son M were involved in an accident a couple of days ago. They were h!t from beh1nd, pushed into another l*ne, where they were h!t he@d-on, then h!t in the s!de.
M is fine, only a bro*ken f1nger, but he was dr1ving, so feels responsible, even though it was clearly not his fault. D has several broken bones (r1bs, hip, maybe ankle, something funky with the knee), and now they are taking a second look at her b@ck, she is having tr0uble breathing and they put her on 02 today. She was laying down in the b@ck se@t, and ended up with her le*gs in R's lap in the front!
R isn't so "lucky," if you can call it that. He WAS restr*ined in the front, but the @1rb*g was turned off. His breaks include but are probably not limited to: vertebr@e in neck & b@ck, nose, cheekbone, left @arm and/or elb0w in at least 2 places. Initially, he was very consc1ous, spouting off his injuries and room number and code, and demanding to be laid on his b@ck. He was bleeeeeeeeeding, they think from his nose, and it wouldn't stop. During that, he "p@ssed out" according to some, and "c0ded" according to others. (They DID call a Code for his room, hello - do they do that for someone who "just" passes out?) He has been sedated and on a resp1r*tor since late Sunday night. There are conflicting reports ranging from no response and only reflex1ve movement, to an 1ncre@sed he*rt rate at the sound of our voices and frowning/clenching when his various tubles in his mouth are disturbed, to it's too early to tell if it's brain de*th or dam*ge, to some combination of all of the above.
I'm exhausted. And sick. We were at the h0spital until 4am M0nday, then I got around 4 hours of sleep before working in a different ph*rm*cy than usual (my ant works for our s1ster company, and of course she was at the hosp1tal, so they made me work for her. I was only 10-20 minutes away from the hospital, so I went and we got home after midnight last night. I struggled through work today, trying to stay awake. Somewhere between another hospital last weekend (when another aunt was suspected to have a he*rt att*ck, but later found out it was ac1d reflux), this hospital this week, and wiping snotty noses at church Sunday morning, (and I'm sure the stuff that is blooming doesn't help, either) I have what feels like a sinus infection coming on. So tonight, I didn't go to the hospital, but my nephew had a baseball game... It was coooooold, but I couldn't NOT go to his game!
So now I'm in bed - this is the earliest I've been HOME to be in bed all week. Tomorrow night, assuming there's no major changes for anyone, I need to go to the funeral home... A teacher fron h1gh sch00l died from complications with leukem1@, after being diagnosed less than a month ago.
Whew. Lots going on! Please say a prayer for everyone mentioned above!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Shows they should let us film

Since my favorite "reality"-type show has yet to appear, and since my favorite channel is favoring hoar*dies and freaks making ba*lloon things and weirdos "saving" tons of money using coupons on a billion boxes of cereal over wicked awesome tats, how 'bout some shows "they" should REALLY consider?
***A Bachelor spin-off where a birthmom chooses adoptive parents. Or heck, maybe let older children decide who will adopt them.
***A Hoarder spin-off that shows the left-over fertility drugs in AnotherFailedCycle's fridge, or the completed baby room including diapers and ready-to-wear clothes behind a closed door for the girl who lost yet abother baby.
***Or maybe 19 Embryos and Counting! Watch next week to see if Suzy Q can produce more eggs than Michelle ever thought possible, and STILL manage to NOT get preggo!!! Keep 'em guessing, make the 2WW be in real-time.
***In an Intervention-esque special, all the infertiles surprise the new mommies with the shock and horror of how we really aren't interested in your latest 12-D ultr*asound pics, and horror of horrors, have the audacity to ask that you please talk about something besides baby puke and dirty diapers and not sleeping?
***Picture it: a race over the world to see who will find and obtain the cheapest HCG injections: the overweight bride-to-be, or the formerly-skinny infertile.
Yeah. I should pitch these ideas and see how it goes.

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Comment that Rubbed Me the Wrong Way

So I got caught up in The Bac*helor. Tonight was the fi*nal r*ose, and he chose who I wanted him to choose. BUT. But. But.
When his family met the final two, his SIL said something that rubbed me the wrong way.
His family was commenting on which one they felt he should choose. One of his sisters-in-law made the comment that E was a better fit with the fam, because she was already a mom, and you don't really "get it" until you become a mom. WHOA. STOP. PAUSE.
Actually, that's just what I did. I paused my tv, and gave the girl a piece of my mind. First, I know plenty of girls/women who have "became a mom," and TOTALLY didn't get it.
I read plenty of blogs written by barren women who "get it." MORE than "get it," actually! The ability to get (and stay) pregnant does NOT automatically mean you GET **anything** beyond less sleep and more (albeit positive) stress. Likewise, just because you can't get (or stay) pregnant, that doesn't automatically equate with not "getting it." Are there differences? Sure. It's a different lifestyle. Different responsibilities. Different goals, dreams, priorities, different CARS, for cryin' out loud!!!
Then my mind goes back to a post by Sara at everybitterthingissweet.wordpress.com a few days ago. She reminded me that I **am** a Mama. I forget the title of her post, but it was about praying for your children. For real, you should just go read everything - she hits the nail on the head on a LOT of things! I've been praying for my babies for years. I truly mean that -years. The very night I knew we would adopt, I started praying. For their biological parents. For God to protect my kids' hearts and minds and shield their eyes. For so many things - that's barely scratching the surface.
I am Mama, but I wish other people could see that. Of course not everyone "gets it." I suppose if you never had to wonder if you would ever have children, or if they came easily, maybe you didn't pray for them for years. Certainly there are women who faced no ferility issues who prayed for their children for years, or months, or days, before they were conceived.
But don't tell me I don't really "get it" because you do not SEE children who call me Mama.

Monday, March 7, 2011

Speaking Up

So we started something new at our church in the new year. We've had a w*m*u program forever (no, really - forever... It's a bap*tist thing, specifically sou*thern, if I'm correct), but it's mainly been an elderly thing for a loooooooong time. It's meant to be a time for the women of the church to gather and focus on missions. We have a growing, thriving women's ministry in our church, that only gets better as more of us get more involved and many of us share the same passions and burdens. Oh, I'm not saying I really "fit in" with the rest of the ladies. I mean, I'm not a mom, so that seperates me from all but one other "grown-up" lady, and she and I are not necessarily taken as "serious grown-ups." Which, granted, we don't really take ourselves extremely seriously, even though we're both in the medical field and dependable grown-ups in every way besides Mommy. I dunno, it's like if you've somehow veered off the expected path of the adult (because, y'know, there's only one path) you are somehow less of an adult, or at least not an adult to be taken seriously. But I digress, hugely!
Where was I? Oh yes. Women. Of all ages. Coming together, with similar minds and hearts and burdens and concerns. We meet once a month. (We have other, more-age-specific activities and Bible studies and classes the other Sunday nights) So the lady "in charge" of getting someone to do the devotion happens to be a 10-ish-year-old girl. One of "my girls," as in one of the girls I teach - one of those constantly hanging on me, wanting to just hang out with me and soaking up all the NotTheMama they can. I LOVE it. And I LOVE these girls! Every one of them! And I'm digressing and rambling again!
So yesterday morning, this girl "A" told me she forgot to ask someone to do the devo, and would I pleasepleasepleasePRETTYPLEEEEEEEEASE do it on short notice? Ha. Maybe she knows that my best lessons and classroom ideas are never planned, but things I pull out of the air at the last minute. Or maybe it's more that God takes pity on me and knows if I planned and made notes, I would be second guessing those notes, get all nervous, and not really say what I should anyway. As I digress again.
So I'm very comfortable and used to teaching kids. Give me one or 100 babies-to-teenagers, for 5 minutes or 3 hours, and all will be entertained and learning something. Adults, on the other hand, that's a whole other can of worms! We're talking moms of the kids I teach, and their moms, and THEIR moms! Some of these women remember when MY DAD was born!!!! That was more than 60 years ago! To say I feel underqualified would be a huge understatement.
What do you speak about when your audience goes from age 5-85? You speak what is on your heart. What is constantly and forever on my heart? Orphans. My babies. The "least of these" are my babies. I read a couple of scriptures that talk about God adopting us as sons (Ephesians 1:5 and Romans 8:15) So I asked several kids and adults what an orphan looks like. I got answers like dirty, poor, etc. Then I mentioned several orphans in the Bible - Moses, Esther, Samuel. Jesus. Me and you before we became believers. Adoption - a perfect picture of what God did when He chose me to be His child. And I finished with James 1:27 - pure and undefiled religion is to care for orphans and widows - and that it doesn't just mean adopting literal orphans... We're also supposed to love and care for ALL of the "least of these," including the smelly kid at school, to the grown-up every one else tries to avoid.
Which worked out wonderfully well, as the big topic of discussion was beginning a food ministry. To serve those who need food, for whatever reason - from too poor to too busy to too sad - and minister to them and/or bring them to God.
I have received lots of compliments and "we're praying for you"'s and such. I was told I was very confident by one, and "I could never get up and share my heart like that" by another. Honestly, I never saw myself doing that, either, but I can only say it was a God-thing. The oldest lady in the church choked back tears as she told me she was praying for me, and said she's been meaning to call my mom and tell her how proud they all are of me, and what a great job my parents did raising me. I say that not to brag about myself, but to say look what God is doing! Oh if you only knew how far God has brought me! Truly from despair and depression and thoughts of su*ic*ide, to THIS. What a might God we serve!
There's quite the paradox developing... The closer we get to putting faces on these children, the harder it gets to not have them with me; but it gets easier and easier to talk about them, to tell other people about them, to share with the world how God has revealed to us He would grow our family.
I feel like I'm transitioning into a "real" grown-up. And I'm doing so among a number of women who encourage and support me, and are sososo excited about God's plan - not only for my family, but also for our women's ministry, our church, and our community.I'm so blessed to have been planted in this community at birth, and this body of believers as a young adult. I cannot wait until he plants some young babes in my care, under these ladies!