Sunday, April 27, 2008

Okay, freaking out just a little.....

I have spent the weekend (among other things) waiting for AF to show. And waiting. And waiting.... And still waiting. Now, as long as I have been keeping up with it (which was several months before the wedding, so as to plan around AF, and most of the months since, "just in case"), not once have I gone all 28 days. (I know, I know probably TMI, but bare with me here).... Anywhere from 2-5 days early is "normal" for me. Well, tomorrow (technically YODAY since it is now midnight!!!) is day #28. I hate to sound like a broken record, because yes, most months I do spend the last few days wondering and blogging and hoping and trying not to hope and so on.... I usually tend to over-analyze EVERYTHING incredibly too much, but lately I have been feeling a touch yucky in the mornings, but generally better if I eat a little something, even just a few tic-tacs asap. I've had some light cramping for about a week now, maybe a little less, and I'm pretty sure I heard somewhere, sometime, that **can** be an early sign of pregnancy. Hubby encouraged me to just wait a few more days before we run out and by a test. I would've been happy to do it tonight, just to know something for sure.
ADD TO THAT the fact that we open the new pharmacy THURSDAY, so I will spend this week not really knowing where to go to work each day, the bosses are coming up from 3 hours away, I'm riding with one of my co-workers tomorrow to find a new place, we have yet to order all the drugs for the new pharmacy, we haven't moved everything in or organized anything, and we START meds for a drug treatment facility THE DAY WE OPEN..... Yes, this should be an interesting week, AF issues aside, which is IMPOSSIBLE to put aside because even though I've tried NOT to dwell on it, well, here we are....
ADD TO THAT my older sister is definitely for sure pregnant again, after a loss last summer. They had special prayer for her at church today, and I remembered to call her this morning and tell her she might want to let an infertile friend know before the service, because you know, it's just easier to hear it personally instead of a big huge announcement in front of the whole church.
So, I'm sitting here after midnight, waiting to finish a home male fertility test, wondering if we wasted close to $100 for that and an ovulation predictor kit, and for once actually hoping we've wasted money! ;)
So, please tell me.... Am I losing it, am I crazy for hoping, and when should I test?

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