Friday, August 6, 2010


...Which is a little odd, what with the triple-digitedness going on here in the Deep South. Unless you've been at the office, where I wear a fleece jacket more often than not. Alas.
I was browsing some blogs on my lunch break, and realized I've kind of hit FreezeMode. Our first home visit is coming up in the next 2 weeks (not scheduled yet), and there are lots of things I SHOULD be doing. Every time I think about the daunting task of preparing those last 2 rooms and hanging pictures and decorating because all of that stuff is still boxed up from moving, I freeze. I can't decide where to start first, what room to focus on, I just freeze.
I'm ready for this. We've waited a long time for this whole process, but I want to first hit the "pause" button, then "fastforward" through visits 1 and 2 and possibly through the parts of the wait that I'm sad or frustrated or freaked the heck out.
But I know there will be good parts to the wait, just as I know the home visits really will NOT be that bad. So why am I a popsicle? Fear of the unkown? While we indeed have been looking forward to adoption, I've also become quite okay with being the infertile aunt. Or maybe not so much "okay," as "used to it." For our whole engagement, marriage, and even before that, I've known and drilled it into my head that parenthood would have to wait. And suddenly, we're here. Almost.
I like a good game of freeze tag. I mean, I lead games for groups large and small throughout the year, and even minored in play (or rec admin) in college. But for my future children's sake... Would somebody PLEASE unfreeze me now?

No comments: