***Big sigh of relief***
I have finally Snapped Out of It... I have come back to life, after a rough start to the workday. Over the past two weeks, God has been speaking, and I have been listening. Through visiting preachers as our pastor spent time with his wife in her final days; through our Easter musical; through the book of Lamentations; through our pastor and his daughters (who are also my friends) and some funny stories; and perhaps most ironically, through a song written by a lady who had an abortion, after God forgave and restored her. It is rather perplexing -- that a song written by someone who took a life would comfort someone who would give almost anything to achieve and maintain a life.
I cracked open my Bible today, I'm ashamed to say for the first time in months not related to preparing a lesson to teach or sitting in church. I purposefully turned off the tv, put down the blackberry, and simply read, and studied, and let God's Word sink into my heart and mind. It's amazing what He will tell us, if only we would listen!
My bedroom is tidy (I really suck at hanging clothes back up after trying on a million outfits and then wearing the first one, and they tend to pile up). My laundry is amazingly caught up -- there's a load drying now, and I should be able to FINISH it ALL tomorrow. Not just wash/dry/pile on loveseat. Wash/dry/fold/put away. My kitchen is well on its way to spotless. The diet is back on tomorrow, back to one dr pe#pper tomorrow, let's finish off this 10 lbs and start working on the next.
I still ache at the end of the day, pretty sure that's R*A and not going away. I still am nervous about next Wednesday. Rightly so -- the SA (please please PLEASE let that be part of the appointment!) Will determine whether we TTC or not, and whether I talk to my gyn about a hysterect*omy or not. A lot hinges on these few hours, and that's okay. I still have no idea what direction adoption will be taking off for us, or how it will be funded. Even though it would seem not a lot has changed, so much HAS... Hope will do that for you!