***Some people can call in sick, or "hurt" for as many days as they wish, when truthfully nothing is wrong. Others literally can't stand up due to pain, and get harrassing phone calls asking if they like their job and want to keep their job, before they even get home. Care to guess which group I fall into?
***My house is a wreck, but we have "stuff" planned for every.night.this.week, and now I'm baby-sitting a 13-year-old and 4-year-old for the weekend. Because they are girls I love, and they need some positive adult attention! And I'm a big sucker. I don't mind any of the things we are doing (attending ball games, teaching at church, singing at a funeral), but I seriously need to FINISH laundry, dishes, cleaning floors, etc all at the same time, instead of leaving clothes on the couch for weeks, and oh the dust bunnies.
***But what is really driving me nuts right now? People who want to solve our infertility. Hate to break the news, but if several doctors and all of my g.oogling can't solve it, chances are Random Suzy can't suggest something we haven't considered.
And yes, there are limited things we **could** technically attempt. TESE with ICSI with IVF for one. We could try DI for an "easier" attempt. The first one isn't right for us for a lot of reasons, only a couple of which are it's not financially do-able, and one of us isn't exactly jumping to get in line for biopsies and needles and stuff. The second one could be rather simple and much more affordable, but for a whole different set of reasons, not for us, at least not at this time.
What drives me crazy is that most people can't just accept that adoption is what we are doing. If I had cancer, people wouldn't say "But wouldn't you much rather just have an appendectomy instead?"
Because it really is very simple. Almost all of the time, I do not feel like I **hafta** experience pregnancy or give birth. It's just not something I NEEEEEEEED to do. Some women DO feel that need, and that is fine and perfect and natural for a lot of women. But I absolutely feel the need to nurture and mother and adopt.
When I get to the end of my life, I almost always feel that if I look back and say "I never did get pregnant," I will be fine with that. But if I am laying on my death bed without ever having adopted, without ever having been Mama, I will absolutely feel regret and like I totally missed what I was supposed to do, like I failed those who would have, should have been my children. And that is why we are choosing to adopt, not pursue endless fertility procedures.
Some things totally NOT driving me crazy right now: the ability to spend a couple of unexpected free hours relaxing with hubby, instead of frantically working... And Breyer's Smooth and Dreamy Dark Chocolate Velvet ice cream, with 1/2 the fat and 1/3 fewer calories than regular ice cream, AND extremely tasty!