Saturday, February 14, 2009

Can I just be DONE now????

I SO want to be DONE.... I want to throw in the towel, and just be content for a while. I want to come to terms with IF, have a definitive answer of whether or not it will ever happen, and freakin' move on, already. I want the energy and motivation to cleam my house, not lurk on all the IF and/or adoption blogs I happen across. Why do I hardly ever comment? When someone drops by my house, I want to NOT have to clean off a place for them to sit, because I've been on the computer instead of cleaning. I want to be able to walk around my bed in our bedroom again, and stop breaking a million plastic hangers, because I step on a pile of clothes to get to my closet. I want every single last dish to be clean, all at the same time. All of the laundry not only washed and dried and waiting in the basket, but folded and put away -- put UP, not just thrown in my bedroom. We really need to go saw up that tree that fell on our house this past week... Okay, not really "on" on our house, really just the top of the tree is brushed up against the siding and a window, with no damage we can see as of yet. Those leaves I was suppsoed to rake in the Fall? Still there, blowing onto my porch and eventually being tracked in the house. That extra bedroom I wanted to clean out and get rid of a bunch of Christmas decorations I no longer want? Still can't get to the part of the room they are in. Time to clean the bathroom again, and I never did get around to mopping the floor when I cleaned it last week (or was it the week before???) AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!! If I could have one good entire day, I would have such a better handle on my house. Hello? What could I be doing TODAY, RIGHT NOW???? Sigh.... I don't like to admit it when I am depressed, but here I am. I feel like before we adopt, I need to be at peace with IF. We've been married 1 year and 9 months (how ironic, 9 months), and have 1 year and 3 months to go before we can start the process. I would like to have theat extra room cleaned out and decorated by then. (Lofty goals when I can't even get my laundry done) Where's the money coming from for adoption? My car is sick... Wasn't really sure I would make it to work yesterday morning, so my parents met me, my dad rode home with me, and of course, my car was fine. Transmission is probably about to go on it, though. Hubby says no to a new car right now. We kinda like not having a car payment right now, but where is that extra money going? Not savings, for sure.
On a better note... Happy Valentine's Day!! Hubby had roses delivered to me @ work yesterday. This morning he had fire dept stuff to do, but he woke me up to tell me that he brought me the paper, and went to town to buy me breakfast, and here it is beside me in bed. Ahhhh.... Nice to be married to such a sweetie!! Went to dinner last night, going to the church tonight, probably going out Monday night for our actual V.Day celebration???
Gonna try to go get some housework done now......

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