Could it be because I am? I am fine with not having biological children. I'm so over that. But, as usual, that's the advice I got tonight. You know what, using donor gametes IS possibly an option. We've looked into that. And decided it's not for us. Yes, I understand it has worked out quite well for a lot of other people. More power to anyone who decides that is the best option for them. I'm glad that for those to whom experiencing pregnancy and birth was important, that option was available.
Adoption is the option that suits us best right now. Adoption isn't for everyone, but I felt called to adopt even before I knew what it meant, before I realized that not every child had a stable 2-parent family. We could change our minds, later on, and decide that we DO want to try other things. But we're not there right now.
I wish that people would just support the decisions we're making, and not try to "fix" everything. We do have people in our lives who do support our decisions, who understand that we need to do what is right for us. Thank God for that! When it comes to those "fixers," I usually just smile and nod... But wouldn't it be so liberating to politely, kindly, tell them we've considered our options, and adoption is the best choice we can make right now?
I'm glad people care and want to help. For future reference, the best way to help someone is to ask what help they need.
Monday, July 26, 2010
Friday, July 23, 2010
As it turns out...
...It is ***TOTALLY*** possible that we absolutely can adopt a baby or young child through d*h*r, WITHOUT fostering at all!!!
Whew. This was such a relief. And I hesitate to say it like that, because of the potential backlash from pro-foster people, but IN OUR SITUATION, not fostering is for the best. Yes, there is a HUGE need for foster parents, and especially "good" ones (whatever that means!). And maybe one day, that would work for us.
Right now, though, our desires and goals are to be the permanent parents for a child or children. If we already had one or more in our home, it might not be so difficult to let go. Maybe.
We have a friend who has IF issues, and she and her hubby are about to go through this same class in a different county, to adopt their 2nd child. The first was a private, somewhat open adoption. Her mother-in-law works for d*h*r in our county, and she sits in on some of our classes. We had a chance to talk to her after class Tuesday night, and she reassured us that adoption without fostering is totally doable. She said we most likely won't get a baby younger than 6 months, and we may have to wait a little longer than if we chose to foster, but the security will be so worth the wait.
I needed some good news for once!!! And I may have said this once or a thousand times before...But it's really strange to think that this time next year, that could be ME feeding the baby in the mall! I'm trying to decide whether or not I should teach the class on Wednesday nights at church that I taught last year. On one hand, I don't want to sit around all school year, disappointed that I'm not teaching AND we still haven't gotten a placement; on the other hand, if we DO get a placement before May, I plan on stopping a lot of the "extra stuff" I've been doing these past few years. I've waited a long time to be a Mommy, and I'm gonna step back, and spend as much time as possible with my baby (babies?).
Wow. We have a lot of work to get done, and a lotta stuff to buy!
Whew. This was such a relief. And I hesitate to say it like that, because of the potential backlash from pro-foster people, but IN OUR SITUATION, not fostering is for the best. Yes, there is a HUGE need for foster parents, and especially "good" ones (whatever that means!). And maybe one day, that would work for us.
Right now, though, our desires and goals are to be the permanent parents for a child or children. If we already had one or more in our home, it might not be so difficult to let go. Maybe.
We have a friend who has IF issues, and she and her hubby are about to go through this same class in a different county, to adopt their 2nd child. The first was a private, somewhat open adoption. Her mother-in-law works for d*h*r in our county, and she sits in on some of our classes. We had a chance to talk to her after class Tuesday night, and she reassured us that adoption without fostering is totally doable. She said we most likely won't get a baby younger than 6 months, and we may have to wait a little longer than if we chose to foster, but the security will be so worth the wait.
I needed some good news for once!!! And I may have said this once or a thousand times before...But it's really strange to think that this time next year, that could be ME feeding the baby in the mall! I'm trying to decide whether or not I should teach the class on Wednesday nights at church that I taught last year. On one hand, I don't want to sit around all school year, disappointed that I'm not teaching AND we still haven't gotten a placement; on the other hand, if we DO get a placement before May, I plan on stopping a lot of the "extra stuff" I've been doing these past few years. I've waited a long time to be a Mommy, and I'm gonna step back, and spend as much time as possible with my baby (babies?).
Wow. We have a lot of work to get done, and a lotta stuff to buy!
Monday, July 19, 2010
People just don't get it!
Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!! People just don't understand. All weekend, I had people asking me various random questions and making comments about adoption and pregnancy. Here are the top few that got under my skin:
***From *several* people, over several days, in several different venues, I got the "So do you HAVE to adopt, or do you WANT to?" Well. No, we don't HAVE to adopt. I HAVE to go to work, I HAVE to clean house, I HAVE to go to the doctor. I'm sure they mean well, or maybe they're just trying to politely ask if we're infertile without really going there... But dude, c'mon, you make adoption sound like a CHORE. Yes, we very much WANT to adopt. And no, we don't HAVE to, we could also remain child-free. (A phrase I really don't like, but anyhoo)
***"Maybe when you get one, you'll end up getting pregnant!!!! I know that happened for so-and-so!!!" Thanks, but we're not really trying! And unless so-and-so had the same diagnosis as us, that's the equivalent of, "oh, you have cancer? Well I know that so-and-so had strep throat, and they didn't even need chemo and they're perfectly healthy now!!!"
***Have you tried (fill in the blank with anything from, no lie, "put his stuff and your stuff in a dish," to surrogacy, to just about anything else) yet??? You know, just in case I haven't g**gled the hell out of it. And this was asked by a woman who dated someone who couldn't have children, and the two of them "looked into their options," so why was she referring to our "stuff," instead of using proper medical terms. We didn't exactly receive a diagnosis yesterday, and this particular person has known that for a couple of years.if you don't even know the proper terms for the procedures you think we may need, you probably shouldn't be doling out advice.
***Finally... "Well, we're just gonna pray that you do get pregnant and it happened for me!!!" Don't get me wrong, I truly DO appreciate the prayers... But a better thing to do would be to ask "how can I pray for you?" Now this could be debated a hundred different ways - some would say I should be praying until God gives me a biological child, others would say I should accept what God has planned and focus on adoption. I am choosing to pray for whatever God sees best - if He chooses to bless me with a biological child, awesome; if He chooses to bless me only through adoption, awesome; I can also now say if He chooses to bless me only through my niece and nephews, awesome.
I must admit there WAS *one* 1 ONE person who didn't ask me anything stupid, or do the "belly scan" to see if I "looked" pregnant. She went to high school with me. She's been married for several years and has no children. I saw her Saturday, and just got that "feeling" that I sometimes get. The two of us danced around the issue, talked about adoption and other options, but neither of us ever went right out and said "I bet you're infertile too!!!" We both understood each other. We both knew that we didn't want any lame-but-well-intentioned advice, and no words needed to pass for us both to get each other.
Sigh. At least I am learning to deal with ridiculous statements and questions with grace and dignity. I know the questions and comments will only change when children do come into my life. May I also remember this when I am talking with other people going through difficult times.
***From *several* people, over several days, in several different venues, I got the "So do you HAVE to adopt, or do you WANT to?" Well. No, we don't HAVE to adopt. I HAVE to go to work, I HAVE to clean house, I HAVE to go to the doctor. I'm sure they mean well, or maybe they're just trying to politely ask if we're infertile without really going there... But dude, c'mon, you make adoption sound like a CHORE. Yes, we very much WANT to adopt. And no, we don't HAVE to, we could also remain child-free. (A phrase I really don't like, but anyhoo)
***"Maybe when you get one, you'll end up getting pregnant!!!! I know that happened for so-and-so!!!" Thanks, but we're not really trying! And unless so-and-so had the same diagnosis as us, that's the equivalent of, "oh, you have cancer? Well I know that so-and-so had strep throat, and they didn't even need chemo and they're perfectly healthy now!!!"
***Have you tried (fill in the blank with anything from, no lie, "put his stuff and your stuff in a dish," to surrogacy, to just about anything else) yet??? You know, just in case I haven't g**gled the hell out of it. And this was asked by a woman who dated someone who couldn't have children, and the two of them "looked into their options," so why was she referring to our "stuff," instead of using proper medical terms. We didn't exactly receive a diagnosis yesterday, and this particular person has known that for a couple of years.if you don't even know the proper terms for the procedures you think we may need, you probably shouldn't be doling out advice.
***Finally... "Well, we're just gonna pray that you do get pregnant and it happened for me!!!" Don't get me wrong, I truly DO appreciate the prayers... But a better thing to do would be to ask "how can I pray for you?" Now this could be debated a hundred different ways - some would say I should be praying until God gives me a biological child, others would say I should accept what God has planned and focus on adoption. I am choosing to pray for whatever God sees best - if He chooses to bless me with a biological child, awesome; if He chooses to bless me only through adoption, awesome; I can also now say if He chooses to bless me only through my niece and nephews, awesome.
I must admit there WAS *one* 1 ONE person who didn't ask me anything stupid, or do the "belly scan" to see if I "looked" pregnant. She went to high school with me. She's been married for several years and has no children. I saw her Saturday, and just got that "feeling" that I sometimes get. The two of us danced around the issue, talked about adoption and other options, but neither of us ever went right out and said "I bet you're infertile too!!!" We both understood each other. We both knew that we didn't want any lame-but-well-intentioned advice, and no words needed to pass for us both to get each other.
Sigh. At least I am learning to deal with ridiculous statements and questions with grace and dignity. I know the questions and comments will only change when children do come into my life. May I also remember this when I am talking with other people going through difficult times.
People just don't get it!
Ugh, ugh, ugh!!!! People just don't understand. All weekend, I had people asking me various random questions and making comments about adoption and pregnancy. Here are the top few that got under my skin:
***From *several* people, over several days, in several different venues, I got the "So do you HAVE to adopt, or do you WANT to?" Well. No, we don't HAVE to adopt. I HAVE to go to work, I HAVE to clean house, I HAVE to go to the doctor. I'm sure they mean well, or maybe they're just trying to politely ask if we're infertile without really going there... But dude, c'mon, you make adoption sound like a CHORE. Yes, we very much WANT to adopt. And no, we don't HAVE to, we could also remain child-free. (A phrase I really don't like, but anyhoo)
***"Maybe when you get one, you'll end up getting pregnant!!!! I know that happened for so-and-so!!!" Thanks, but we're not really trying! And unless so-and-so had the same diagnosis as us, that's the equivalent of, "oh, you have cancer? Well I know that so-and-so had strep throat, and they didn't even need chemo and they're perfectly healthy now!!!"
***Have you tried (fill in the blank with anything from, no lie, "put his stuff and your stuff in a dish," to surrogacy, to just about anything else) yet??? You know, just in case I haven't g**gled the hell out of it. And this was asked by a woman who dated someone who couldn't have children, and the two of them "looked into their options," so why was she referring to our "stuff," instead of using proper medical terms. We didn't exactly receive a diagnosis yesterday, and this particular person has known that for a couple of years.if you don't even know the proper terms for the procedures you think we may need, you probably shouldn't be doling out advice.
***Finally... "Well, we're just gonna pray that you do get pregnant and it happened for me!!!" Don't get me wrong, I truly DO appreciate the prayers... But a better thing to do would be to ask "how can I pray for you?" Now this could be debated a hundred different ways - some would say I should be praying until God gives me a biological child, others would say I should accept what God has planned and focus on adoption. I am choosing to pray for whatever God sees best - if He chooses to bless me with a biological child, awesome; if He chooses to bless me only through adoption, awesome; I can also now say if He chooses to bless me only through my niece and nephews, awesome.
I must admit there WAS *one* 1 ONE person who didn't ask me anything stupid, or do the "belly scan" to see if I "looked" pregnant. She went to high school with me. She's been married for several years and has no children. I saw her Saturday, and just got that "feeling" that I sometimes get. The two of us danced around the issue, talked about adoption and other options, but neither of us ever went right out and said "I bet you're infertile too!!!" We both understood each other. We both knew that we didn't want any lame-but-well-intentioned advice, and no words needed to pass for us both to get each other.
Sigh. At least I am learning to deal with ridiculous statements and questions with grace and dignity. I know the questions and comments will only change when children do come into my life. May I also remember this when I am talking with other people going through difficult times.
***From *several* people, over several days, in several different venues, I got the "So do you HAVE to adopt, or do you WANT to?" Well. No, we don't HAVE to adopt. I HAVE to go to work, I HAVE to clean house, I HAVE to go to the doctor. I'm sure they mean well, or maybe they're just trying to politely ask if we're infertile without really going there... But dude, c'mon, you make adoption sound like a CHORE. Yes, we very much WANT to adopt. And no, we don't HAVE to, we could also remain child-free. (A phrase I really don't like, but anyhoo)
***"Maybe when you get one, you'll end up getting pregnant!!!! I know that happened for so-and-so!!!" Thanks, but we're not really trying! And unless so-and-so had the same diagnosis as us, that's the equivalent of, "oh, you have cancer? Well I know that so-and-so had strep throat, and they didn't even need chemo and they're perfectly healthy now!!!"
***Have you tried (fill in the blank with anything from, no lie, "put his stuff and your stuff in a dish," to surrogacy, to just about anything else) yet??? You know, just in case I haven't g**gled the hell out of it. And this was asked by a woman who dated someone who couldn't have children, and the two of them "looked into their options," so why was she referring to our "stuff," instead of using proper medical terms. We didn't exactly receive a diagnosis yesterday, and this particular person has known that for a couple of years.if you don't even know the proper terms for the procedures you think we may need, you probably shouldn't be doling out advice.
***Finally... "Well, we're just gonna pray that you do get pregnant and it happened for me!!!" Don't get me wrong, I truly DO appreciate the prayers... But a better thing to do would be to ask "how can I pray for you?" Now this could be debated a hundred different ways - some would say I should be praying until God gives me a biological child, others would say I should accept what God has planned and focus on adoption. I am choosing to pray for whatever God sees best - if He chooses to bless me with a biological child, awesome; if He chooses to bless me only through adoption, awesome; I can also now say if He chooses to bless me only through my niece and nephews, awesome.
I must admit there WAS *one* 1 ONE person who didn't ask me anything stupid, or do the "belly scan" to see if I "looked" pregnant. She went to high school with me. She's been married for several years and has no children. I saw her Saturday, and just got that "feeling" that I sometimes get. The two of us danced around the issue, talked about adoption and other options, but neither of us ever went right out and said "I bet you're infertile too!!!" We both understood each other. We both knew that we didn't want any lame-but-well-intentioned advice, and no words needed to pass for us both to get each other.
Sigh. At least I am learning to deal with ridiculous statements and questions with grace and dignity. I know the questions and comments will only change when children do come into my life. May I also remember this when I am talking with other people going through difficult times.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
10 Years later: we're not the only infertile ones!
So my 10-year class reunion was tonight. I debated with myself whether or not to go, because I haven't really kept in touch with anyone, beyond being friends on fb. Of course, I developed a major migraine, which is still hanging around.
So many in our class have kids, but there are still a few of us that don't, some by choice, and others not so much.
We have chosen to be not so vocal about our infertility. Our close friends and immediate family know. Some people in our church and community have figured it out - I mean, it's not that hard, for someone who loves kids as much as we do, and at our ages, to be married as long as we have... A guy I graduated with and his wife are a lot more vocal, talking about their infertility at the table. To be honest, I was relieved we weren't the only ones.
I knew the questions and comments would come at our reunion, and prepared myself. That's what it takes to maintain sanity - preparation. I prepare myself for family reunions, holidays, baby showers... I totally forgot to prepare myself for this morning! My mom and sister wanted me to come to their church for a ladies conference. I totally didn't prepare myself for songs and teaching about going through hard times, and God being in control, and God remembering us. Throw in some comments at lunch about how an elderly lafy is praying for me and wanting to see me with babies, and another lady admitting she had thought we were infertile, then praying for me, and you've got one weepy, stressed out, migraine-laden girl!
We're now at the mall, waiting for a movie to start. (Yes, I AM a glutton for punishment, that migraine is STILL hanging around, and it's not exactly a quiet movie. But I don't let these silly ol' headaches stop me from doing whatever is in the plans.) We did a little shopping before, a little retail therapy. I haven't reached this point in a looooooong time, but it's not surprising when the events of the day are taken into consideration: I had to stop shopping and head to the dressing room. Yes, friends, I was close to losing it in public. I was near panic mode. One of those rare times when I thought about the fact that they make (legal, Rx) drugs just for those times. And I know how inexpensive some of those are. And it would probably make this so much easier, or at least take the edge off.
Those moments are few and far between, and so far, I haven't asked the dr for anything. I hesitate because I don't want to get to the point that I go, "oh, I'm late for work, let's pop a x*n*x or an *tiv*n!"
Need to make that annual appt with the gyn... My sister says I need something stronger for my migraines. Would I sound like a drug*ie of I mentioned that I also occasionally have near-meltdowns?
So many in our class have kids, but there are still a few of us that don't, some by choice, and others not so much.
We have chosen to be not so vocal about our infertility. Our close friends and immediate family know. Some people in our church and community have figured it out - I mean, it's not that hard, for someone who loves kids as much as we do, and at our ages, to be married as long as we have... A guy I graduated with and his wife are a lot more vocal, talking about their infertility at the table. To be honest, I was relieved we weren't the only ones.
I knew the questions and comments would come at our reunion, and prepared myself. That's what it takes to maintain sanity - preparation. I prepare myself for family reunions, holidays, baby showers... I totally forgot to prepare myself for this morning! My mom and sister wanted me to come to their church for a ladies conference. I totally didn't prepare myself for songs and teaching about going through hard times, and God being in control, and God remembering us. Throw in some comments at lunch about how an elderly lafy is praying for me and wanting to see me with babies, and another lady admitting she had thought we were infertile, then praying for me, and you've got one weepy, stressed out, migraine-laden girl!
We're now at the mall, waiting for a movie to start. (Yes, I AM a glutton for punishment, that migraine is STILL hanging around, and it's not exactly a quiet movie. But I don't let these silly ol' headaches stop me from doing whatever is in the plans.) We did a little shopping before, a little retail therapy. I haven't reached this point in a looooooong time, but it's not surprising when the events of the day are taken into consideration: I had to stop shopping and head to the dressing room. Yes, friends, I was close to losing it in public. I was near panic mode. One of those rare times when I thought about the fact that they make (legal, Rx) drugs just for those times. And I know how inexpensive some of those are. And it would probably make this so much easier, or at least take the edge off.
Those moments are few and far between, and so far, I haven't asked the dr for anything. I hesitate because I don't want to get to the point that I go, "oh, I'm late for work, let's pop a x*n*x or an *tiv*n!"
Need to make that annual appt with the gyn... My sister says I need something stronger for my migraines. Would I sound like a drug*ie of I mentioned that I also occasionally have near-meltdowns?
Saturday, July 10, 2010
The way I would like for it to happen...
...At least in my own little world, where things work out the way I want them to...
We get to the end of this class. Even before we finish, they get a young child that is immediately available for adoption. Their first thought is, "this is the baby for NotTheMama and her hubby!" And we all live happily ever after.
I've always been a "beat the system" kind of girl. I'm gonna prove that I CAN do the things "they" say can't be done. There have been a lot of "they's" over the years, up to and including God. (Guess what? Turns out you can't really prove God wrong!) After a while, I learned that there are times when it's best to step back and say "ya know what? You're right. This would not be smart to try." That scrappy little fighter remains, though.
We're continuing on through the class. At the least, we'll be more prepared for whatever way a child enters our life... Or not... Because this class has helped me see that in fact, I am *not* willing to do ANYTHING to "get" a baby.
We get to the end of this class. Even before we finish, they get a young child that is immediately available for adoption. Their first thought is, "this is the baby for NotTheMama and her hubby!" And we all live happily ever after.
I've always been a "beat the system" kind of girl. I'm gonna prove that I CAN do the things "they" say can't be done. There have been a lot of "they's" over the years, up to and including God. (Guess what? Turns out you can't really prove God wrong!) After a while, I learned that there are times when it's best to step back and say "ya know what? You're right. This would not be smart to try." That scrappy little fighter remains, though.
We're continuing on through the class. At the least, we'll be more prepared for whatever way a child enters our life... Or not... Because this class has helped me see that in fact, I am *not* willing to do ANYTHING to "get" a baby.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
I KNEW it would happen: "You know you *have* to foster before you can adopt a child that young!"
I KNEW it would lead to this. I didn't know how long it would take, I didn't know who would be the first to say it, but it happened tonight, week three, said by someone in the class who has "friends" who work for d*h*r. "You know if you want babies, you pretty much *have* to foste* to adopt."
I KNEW they would get you involved in the class, telling you up front that fostering was NOT required, let you do all this bookwork and answering questions and writing a paper and commit to 30 hours for 10 weeks, because who's gonna say "No thanks," after all of that? ... And then come back and try to talk you into fos*tering, because that's what they really need. I majored in psychology at a university that drills be*havior ana*lysis into your head the whole time, so I know how this works. I may have forgotten the technical term over the years, perhaps it's close approximations of the desired behavior? The desired behavior is becoming an fp. Perhaps the closest approximation in the beginning is that you contact the agency to inquire about adoption. They reward you by letting you in this class. They ask you carefully crafted questions about adoption/fostering, with focus on fostering. They reward you with a week closer to your imagined child. You answer questions about this imaginary child, and what would make you change your mind about fostering. They reward you by feeding your desire for said imaginary child. "Suddenly," by the end of week 10, they have roped you closer and closer to desiring to become an fp. By this point, you've put in 30 hours of class time, you've spent several more hours answering questions, writing a paper, and preparing your home for a visit by a worker. Surely, if you have invested this much work, time, effort, and even some money, into this, you'll change your mind and decide to foster if that's what it takes to get your desired imagined child.
Except for a few things...
1) I got a degree in this. I know how it works.
2) I have yet to feel peace about this whole thing, and I'm still hypervigilent and on edge about the whole reunification thing.
3) I still don't want to end up in a mental hospital because you promised me a child, let me have it for a few months/years, then took it away. Because, as you say, I need to "know my family," and I know myself enough to know I WILL get attached to any child who lives with me.
4) While it is true I am a very agreeable and flexible person, sometimes to a fault, this is one time when I will NOT back down. We did not go into this to foster. We do not want to be "substitute" parents. While it is true that we have chosen not to pursue fertility treatments in part because there are plenty of children who already exist who need parents, it is equally true that we are not JUST doing this "for the kids."
This is not our only option. This is not a "last resort." This is not the sole way we feel we HAVE to aquire children. We have spent the past years/months/weeks/days discussing and considering adoption options. Some of our thoughts and feelings change, and some remain the same. As recently as tonight, decisions continue to be made. On the way home, I was thinking about the comments made by our fellow classmate, and reached a new conclusion on the foster/not foster subject. If it comes down to always being "just the aunt," or fostering to adopt, I dare say I would be content to remain the f*un aunt and love on everyone else's children. My sanity matters that much.
I KNEW they would get you involved in the class, telling you up front that fostering was NOT required, let you do all this bookwork and answering questions and writing a paper and commit to 30 hours for 10 weeks, because who's gonna say "No thanks," after all of that? ... And then come back and try to talk you into fos*tering, because that's what they really need. I majored in psychology at a university that drills be*havior ana*lysis into your head the whole time, so I know how this works. I may have forgotten the technical term over the years, perhaps it's close approximations of the desired behavior? The desired behavior is becoming an fp. Perhaps the closest approximation in the beginning is that you contact the agency to inquire about adoption. They reward you by letting you in this class. They ask you carefully crafted questions about adoption/fostering, with focus on fostering. They reward you with a week closer to your imagined child. You answer questions about this imaginary child, and what would make you change your mind about fostering. They reward you by feeding your desire for said imaginary child. "Suddenly," by the end of week 10, they have roped you closer and closer to desiring to become an fp. By this point, you've put in 30 hours of class time, you've spent several more hours answering questions, writing a paper, and preparing your home for a visit by a worker. Surely, if you have invested this much work, time, effort, and even some money, into this, you'll change your mind and decide to foster if that's what it takes to get your desired imagined child.
Except for a few things...
1) I got a degree in this. I know how it works.
2) I have yet to feel peace about this whole thing, and I'm still hypervigilent and on edge about the whole reunification thing.
3) I still don't want to end up in a mental hospital because you promised me a child, let me have it for a few months/years, then took it away. Because, as you say, I need to "know my family," and I know myself enough to know I WILL get attached to any child who lives with me.
4) While it is true I am a very agreeable and flexible person, sometimes to a fault, this is one time when I will NOT back down. We did not go into this to foster. We do not want to be "substitute" parents. While it is true that we have chosen not to pursue fertility treatments in part because there are plenty of children who already exist who need parents, it is equally true that we are not JUST doing this "for the kids."
This is not our only option. This is not a "last resort." This is not the sole way we feel we HAVE to aquire children. We have spent the past years/months/weeks/days discussing and considering adoption options. Some of our thoughts and feelings change, and some remain the same. As recently as tonight, decisions continue to be made. On the way home, I was thinking about the comments made by our fellow classmate, and reached a new conclusion on the foster/not foster subject. If it comes down to always being "just the aunt," or fostering to adopt, I dare say I would be content to remain the f*un aunt and love on everyone else's children. My sanity matters that much.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Progress - Our hypothetical child has a mostly functional bedroom!
We have spent the day cleaning out one of our bedrooms. The state is gonna want to see evidence that there is a physical space for this supposed child. When we moved into our new house, I had planned on moving a little at a time, and having a place for everything.
Then we decided to speed up so we could sell the old place, and my sister got a bee in her bonnet. We moved everything in a weekend, and contained all the stuff to the 2 spare bedrooms.
That's where it's been for 6 months. We have thrown out papers and junk, made a yard sale pile, and found a home for the stuff we want to keep. We determined there is room in that room, the guest room, for a crib, without taking down the bed.
Now we need to tackle the big mess in the othert spare room... That's where most of the junk is. That room is gonna be a playroom for now, but right now, there's no floor space. This one may take a while.
I have more to share, but I do believe my rather anonymous blog has been found by a co-worker.(Yes, I know you're reading, S!) Perhaps another time. :)
Then we decided to speed up so we could sell the old place, and my sister got a bee in her bonnet. We moved everything in a weekend, and contained all the stuff to the 2 spare bedrooms.
That's where it's been for 6 months. We have thrown out papers and junk, made a yard sale pile, and found a home for the stuff we want to keep. We determined there is room in that room, the guest room, for a crib, without taking down the bed.
Now we need to tackle the big mess in the othert spare room... That's where most of the junk is. That room is gonna be a playroom for now, but right now, there's no floor space. This one may take a while.
I have more to share, but I do believe my rather anonymous blog has been found by a co-worker.(Yes, I know you're reading, S!) Perhaps another time. :)
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