So my 10-year class reunion was tonight. I debated with myself whether or not to go, because I haven't really kept in touch with anyone, beyond being friends on fb. Of course, I developed a major migraine, which is still hanging around.
So many in our class have kids, but there are still a few of us that don't, some by choice, and others not so much.
We have chosen to be not so vocal about our infertility. Our close friends and immediate family know. Some people in our church and community have figured it out - I mean, it's not that hard, for someone who loves kids as much as we do, and at our ages, to be married as long as we have... A guy I graduated with and his wife are a lot more vocal, talking about their infertility at the table. To be honest, I was relieved we weren't the only ones.
I knew the questions and comments would come at our reunion, and prepared myself. That's what it takes to maintain sanity - preparation. I prepare myself for family reunions, holidays, baby showers... I totally forgot to prepare myself for this morning! My mom and sister wanted me to come to their church for a ladies conference. I totally didn't prepare myself for songs and teaching about going through hard times, and God being in control, and God remembering us. Throw in some comments at lunch about how an elderly lafy is praying for me and wanting to see me with babies, and another lady admitting she had thought we were infertile, then praying for me, and you've got one weepy, stressed out, migraine-laden girl!
We're now at the mall, waiting for a movie to start. (Yes, I AM a glutton for punishment, that migraine is STILL hanging around, and it's not exactly a quiet movie. But I don't let these silly ol' headaches stop me from doing whatever is in the plans.) We did a little shopping before, a little retail therapy. I haven't reached this point in a looooooong time, but it's not surprising when the events of the day are taken into consideration: I had to stop shopping and head to the dressing room. Yes, friends, I was close to losing it in public. I was near panic mode. One of those rare times when I thought about the fact that they make (legal, Rx) drugs just for those times. And I know how inexpensive some of those are. And it would probably make this so much easier, or at least take the edge off.
Those moments are few and far between, and so far, I haven't asked the dr for anything. I hesitate because I don't want to get to the point that I go, "oh, I'm late for work, let's pop a x*n*x or an *tiv*n!"
Need to make that annual appt with the gyn... My sister says I need something stronger for my migraines. Would I sound like a drug*ie of I mentioned that I also occasionally have near-meltdowns?