It's Sunday. I should, and would normally, be at church, but the coughing, hacking, and sharing of germs would probably not be appreciated, especially by those 3 battling cancer in our relatively small church. And the antibiotic I finished last night has decided it really doesn't like my stomach. So anyway, here are some adoption-related thoughts I haven't taken the time to blog about...
***My baby deserves NEW. I realize that at first glance, that sounds extremely stuck-up and very new-mommyish. But... We are adopting through dhr. I have been told by a dhr worker that she had to take kids from their doctor-parents before, it's not just limited to the poor, the addicted, the abusive. At any rate, my child will be leaving a crappy situation, where he has not received the things he needed, much less wanted.
So when I went to k*ids m*rket, my sister looked at me like I was a crazy person, when I didn't purchase the ONE stroller that was for jogging, with 1 swivel-type wheel on front, and 2 big wheels in back. My reason for leaving it? It was really scratched-up, especially the tray on front. I don't want a secondhand-looking stroller before my baby is even here. My baby deserves a new stroller he can scratch up himself! I don't mean it like it sounds... I'm normally the let's-find-it-at-a-yard-sale girl. Let's look there first, and we'll buy new if we need to. Our first couch was what the previous owners didn't want to move. We sleep in the bed that was my grandfather's, I would have no other dining room table than the one I grew up sitting at for family dinners, card games, and homework time. Our guest bedroom furniture came from an aunt. Most of the toys we currently have are from my childhood. I don't mind second-hand stuff. But for my baby, my baby that may have been abused, or mistreated, or left to his on infant devices... He deserves a new stroller! Without scratches! The crib, I would use the crib my sisters and I all slept in, and older sister's boys all slept in... I know the history of that crib. I know we were all lovingly placed there after being rocked to sleep. I know none of us were left in there for days, never were we "locked" in our crib for punishment. There was a lot of love in that crib. It is still in good shape, though obviously not new after 6 babies and over 30 years, but I would use it in a second.
So I'm not above hand-me-downs. As the middle, but smallest, child, I had plenty. There was a time I had no shoes for school, and my parents couldn't buy them. A friend cleaned out her closets, gave us several bags, and the last thing in the last bag was a pair of nearly-new shoes in just my size. I cried, and wore those shoes with pride. I sometimes like hunting through the thrift store, if I'm in the right mood, and finding an awesome pair of jeans. (As long as I have some hand sanitizer close by... I feel so dirty when I leave!)
Used is fine. Used is great. There was a time when, without used stuff, we would have had to do without. I've never had a new washer-dryer, my fridge at both houses were used, we brought the verrrrry used deep freeze with us to the new house. The houses themselves were made for and used by multiple other families before we moved in them!
But we can afford a new stroller, even though the kind I'm wanting is one of the more expensive kind. Hahah no, I'm not planning to do any jogging with it, I only run if chased, but it's a LOT easier to maneuver than the other kinds. It may be a small thing to some, it may seem silly to experienced parents who know that saving a few bucks is okay, and the kid really doesn't care. Heck, he may not have ever been IN a stroller!
I don't do it because I expect my child to look up through the little sun-flap and say "Oooooh, mommy! This shiny new stroller is soooo perfect! Now I expect only the newest and best for all of my life! Thank you for caring enough to get me the stroller without the scratches!" I don't do it because I am "too good" for used, or because we just have the extra cash floating around for new EVERYTHING.
I do it because...
-My baby deserves new.
-Maybe I'm trying, in some way, to make up for whatever he's been through, probably in the same way that he'll be hugged and kissed forever, he'll have all the bedtime snacks he wants, and will be, through some eyes, spoiled rotten through and through. But he will obey, he will have manners, he will have chores, he will be expected to be the best person he can be.
-And if you come to my house around bedtime, you'd better not laugh when my teenaged son's legs are dragging the ground as I rock him to sleep. Just sayin.
I already have plans to shop for clothes at k1ds m*rket. If our adoption is timed right, I can be set with used clothing for 2 whole seasons. If it's not, I plan to get enough "new" to get us to the next KM sale.
But a new stroller, we will have.