Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Well... I made it.

M-Day is over... I did go to church, but only because I felt like our pastor's family needed some support. I slept in a little, skipped Sunday School and a lesson on Hannah. I made myself go to the worship service, and I did so-so until my niece and s-i-l got up and sang a special. I went into robot-mode through the sermon, as it was pretty much on how to be a good mother (and wife, but mainly mother)... Then it was rough again at the end.
Our church is so good about praying for each other. At the end of a service, if someone is facing a new cancer diagnosis or upcoming surgery or illness or whatever, everyone gathers around that family, and we take turns praying. If you're a contemporary Christian fan and you've heard Mark Schultz's Cloud of Witnesses, that's a perfect picture of our church. So we gathered around our pastor this time, and his wife and all of the family that was present. There was not a dry eye in the place. Our pastor and his wife are both so incredibly strong. They are just leaning on Jesus through this, trusting God to heal her, either in this life or in Heaven. It makes me want to slap myself -- comparatively speaking, what I'm going through is nothing.
However, pain is pain, ya know? It's been a rough week so far... We didn't really have any peft-over food (darn it!) from Sunday lunch, but I've had plenty of left-over emotion to deal with. And the fostering classes we were considering? Not gonna work out right now, they wanted to do the classes in the early afternoon, and hubby can't get off work. Another bummer, man, and I'm just trying to hang on.
But I guess it's like he said this afternoon, apparently God is trying to tell us this is not what we need right now. I'm getting weary from being told "Wait," or "No," or "But/Except" everywhere I turn. I know God can move the obstacles out of the way, but sometimes He leaves them in place, too. To teach us to trust, to wait, to be patient. And so, the waiting continues...

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