Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy M-Day, if it applies to you... If not, have some 0re0's

...That's what I had for breakfast. Yeah, good weight loss plan, ya think? ;) I followed it up with 30 minutes of w!! fit, does that count? (Not even close... I had more than a couple cookies) Hubby is at some bluegr@ass all-day concert thing, b/c the fire dept was cooking for it. I could've went, it's about 5 minutes away from home, but I'm hiding out this weekend. I slept in, got online until the puter froze, did some w!! fit, and here I am again. Wedding for a church-person starts in about 15 minutes or so, I'm not going to that, either. Church plans for tomorrow are still in the air. I know we'll be eating one meal with my parents (and sisters and b-i-l's and 4 nephews) and one meal with his parents (and sister and b-i-l and 1 niece and nephew), and I'll smile my way through it and play with kids and fake it 'till I make it. With plenty of chocolate, mac&cheese, and other comfrot foods. Bring on the w!! fit for about a million minutes.
I'm wallowing, okay, I admit it. And maybe I feel kind of guilty about that, in light of a slap in the head to bring on a new perspective.

We found out yesterday that our pastor's wife is dying. Her cancer has come back, and is basically taking over her body, with the exception of about 2 organs. They've been told to enjoy the time they have left. She's such an awesome lady, and I hate to see this happen to the whole family. Both daughters are grown with children, and thinking about the youngest of those babies not ever knowing their grandmother tears my heart out. I don't even want to think about losing my parents, but I know that eventually that day will come.

So that kind of yanks perspective back into its proper place. I'm not dying. I'm not sick. I will eventually be a Mama somehow, someday, some WAY.

It seems like that should help, that should get my butt up OFF this chair and OUT of this house, but the thought of having to put on my happy face and pretend all is well, just isn't happening for me this weekend. I'm not up to facing the questions, the comments, the recognizing-of-mothers. I think I'll stick around with my 0re0's.

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