Wednesday, February 16, 2011

In My Dreams...

Have I told you that I sometimes dream of my children? I don't get to see their faces, but it's so precious.
Last night I had another one. It was really weird, because we were on our church bus, pulling into the parking lot of another local church, when our pastor caused a chain-reaction massive wreck (even though we were barely moving? lol dreams are weird)
So they were removing bodies (massiven indeed! People DIED!!!), cleaning up debris, etc, and this 3-or-4-year-old little boy was wandering around looking for his mommy. He was so so sad, and understandably so. There was discussion of did she die in the crash, or did she drop him off before the crash, because she couldn't take care of him. So she was dead, or had abandoned him. I looked in the ditch for her body, in case they missed it since it was dark, but it was finallly decided she abandoned him.
This time I couldn't see his face because it was dark, but I DID GET TO HOLD MY BABY!!!!! (!!!) I was trying to console him as he just cried and cried. He told me he missed his mommy, and I told him "I know, baby, I know. And that's okay, it's understandable!" He said he "just wanted to go home," and I told him something about how there's no place more comfortable, no place you feel like you can really relax, except for home. He told me he wanted to go back to his first home, with his mommy. I told him he couldn't do that, but I promised him I would take very good care of him and love him so so much forever and always.
I love these dreams, and cherish every God-given dream I have. I am thankful He gives me glimpses of my babies, if only in my dreams for now, and I truly believe He has given them special angels to watch over them until Mama can hold them for real.
Hold tight, little dudes. Mama will be there as soon as it's time!