So earlier this week, I had to stop in my road for a fawn and her Mama. It's kind of hard to see on my road in the mornings on my way to work, and at first I couldn't tell what kind of animal was standing in the road. Mama quickly bounded across the road and over a fence. I stopped for Fawn, while she decided what to do. It was both sad and somewhat comical! The poor little thing followed Mama, of course... Bounded across the road, cleared the ditch - and smashed into the fence. Got up, jumped the ditch - and crashed into the fence. Got up, crossed the ditch - bam, stupid fence again! Finally, it stood up, looked around, and ran away from Mama to the woods on the other side of the road, but only hesitantly.
Poor little thing just could NOT make it. Little did I know.......
We knew we would eventually adopt even before we married. BAM- gotta wait 3 years. Okay, let's get rolling - BAM - jump through these 5 million hoops, and put a rail on your steps and hide your laundry detergent and make your house more secure than Fort Knox. Got it, done, let's get going again! **BAM** It will probably take a couple of months to be approved, but things should happen quickly.
And so, I waited. V.e.r.y patiently. Uncharacteristically patient. I was determined not to make a phone call, not to drop by our worker's second job just to check on the status of things, I was gonna give it two months, confident things were moving along. Half expecting to hear from her before the 2 months were up. Yes, I had momentary lapses in patience and calm waiting, but I was really, really GOOD, and lots of people told me so.
And that freakin' fence just won't move outta the way. Our worker did her job. The more we work with her, the more I like her. Hubby called today, at the two month mark. She completed our home study TWO DAYS after our final visit. TWO DAYS!!!!! Complete with a checklist that she went over and checked off so that her supervisor would simply have to sign and submit to the state. Which apparently takes at least a couple months... Bam! Bam! BAM!!!!!! Our worker has reminded her several times that she only needs to sign and submit.
I have several theories as to what is holding this up. The one I really want to hold on to is it's just not time. I have said all along - it will happen when it is supposed to happen. God's got this. On my way home, after my sweet sister-in-law distracted me with a trip to W*alm*rt, I was praying. And I told Him that I know He will bring my babies to me when the time is right - no supervisor or friend or circumstance will stop Him - when.the.time.is.right. My kids will be HOME, not a minute too soon, not a second too late.
So I will not do like the little fawn* and run away scared; I will stand firm and keep waiting patiently. It will be so worth the wait.
*which is not to say we do not have other plans if this does not work out. For now, though, we wait.