I feel like someone has stepped into my life and hit the Pause button. I guess it's the combination of a migraine since waking up Saturday, the ending of a holiday weekend, not really knowing where we're going next with the possibility of fostering, maybe some other stuff that's not front-and-center on my mind right now?? I NEED to be up and cleaning house. Especially, if, you know, there's a social worker coming sometime to be determined. Please understand... My house is NOT nasty, the most important things stay relatively clean most of the time. However, child-proof, it is not. Social-worker ready, it is not. Any-company-besides-hubby-and-I-ready, it is not. And a friend is probably stopping by later this week. I should be cleaning off the table, finishing the laundry I have no problem starting, getting our bedroom back in shape by hanging up and putting away clothes. The spare bedroom we use as storage space needs to be cleaned out, straightened, and we need a major yard sale. I really would like new shades/blinds/curtains/something, but for now, the blinds we have need to be cleaned.
Instead, I sit here in front of the computer, sometimes checking out a few blogs, sometimes just staring blankly at the screen. I need to make a post on my other, newer blog that is supposed to be weekly. I click over there, though, and stare again. I have no idea where to go next, because we don't really know where we're going next! I have lots of posts in my head, but which one should come next? I should go take a walk, but I sit here frozen in place instead. It's gotta be all the goings-on recently.
Like Easter, spent with my family for lunch and his for dinner. I did great most of the day. I was glad that I decided NOT to go up and sing with a little group we have going on, because I wouldn't have maintained composure if I'd tried to sing. I was trying to decide if I was going to puke from my migraine, and didn't want to have to run off stage because of that. Anyway. I was basically fine until we got home. We walked in to an empty, quiet house. There are times I enjoy my quiet house, like in the mornings when I can kind of think and plan my day and focus only on a calm start to my usually-frazzled day. This morning, though, I didn't even want that. The quiet got on my nerves.
Like the migraine from Hades. I usually have 2-3 a month, but every few months I get like I am currently. Horrendous migraine that eventually takes over my entire head, and lasts for DAYS. Oh, it comes and goes, but mostly, it just stays and stays and STAYS. And sometimes regardless of how long it has been around, the day after it ends or maybe a little bit before if it's a multi-day one, I get a little spacey. Staring into space, can't think straight, focus is out the window for sure. I'm hoping this is the light at the end of the tunnel for this migraine.
Like the fostering thing... I'm leaning more towards than away, not sure about hubby, because he's been working late. He wonders if I can handle it when the kids go back to their home environment; I say I can't stand this house to be so quiet and empty of children for another 2 years at least. I need someone to take care of. Sure, I get my niece or nephews and their moms know they won't have to do a thing if I'm around, but I want one or two in MY HOUSE that are MY RESPONSIBILITY. I am such a mother hen, and well, hubby kind of looks at me funny if I try to cut up his steak. We need to make a final decision and go with it.
And speaking of hubby's job... He is (possibly) moving to another office (somehwere)... He was offered a job closer to home (20-30 minute drive compared to an hour, and as close to home as you can get when you live out in the sticks), they said he was who they wanted for the job, he'd be great there, blah blah blah... That was Friday morning. They wanted an answer by Friday afternoon, and he would start Monday. Then Friday afternoon, they called and said no, we want you to take the job in another office (for a little less money than the first offer, but conveniently within walking distance of MY office!) and start next week. So he decided to take the second offer. Yesterday, they came back and said he could have the first offer, because the other lady turned it down. He couldn't be out of his current office yesterday, because he had to write up and fire someone. He found out yesterday that at least through this week, he will be at his current office, and isn't really sure where he is going next. Close to me would be great -- we could car pool most days, save some money there, and we've always worked so far apart, it would just be grand to be that close.
So. I'm gonna try to shake off this fog, do some cleaning, ponder my next adoption blog post, and maybe we'll see how that goes.