So I got caught up in The Bac*helor. Tonight was the fi*nal r*ose, and he chose who I wanted him to choose. BUT. But. But.
When his family met the final two, his SIL said something that rubbed me the wrong way.
His family was commenting on which one they felt he should choose. One of his sisters-in-law made the comment that E was a better fit with the fam, because she was already a mom, and you don't really "get it" until you become a mom. WHOA. STOP. PAUSE.
Actually, that's just what I did. I paused my tv, and gave the girl a piece of my mind. First, I know plenty of girls/women who have "became a mom," and TOTALLY didn't get it.
I read plenty of blogs written by barren women who "get it." MORE than "get it," actually! The ability to get (and stay) pregnant does NOT automatically mean you GET **anything** beyond less sleep and more (albeit positive) stress. Likewise, just because you can't get (or stay) pregnant, that doesn't automatically equate with not "getting it." Are there differences? Sure. It's a different lifestyle. Different responsibilities. Different goals, dreams, priorities, different CARS, for cryin' out loud!!!
Then my mind goes back to a post by Sara at everybitterthingissweet.wordpress.com a few days ago. She reminded me that I **am** a Mama. I forget the title of her post, but it was about praying for your children. For real, you should just go read everything - she hits the nail on the head on a LOT of things! I've been praying for my babies for years. I truly mean that -years. The very night I knew we would adopt, I started praying. For their biological parents. For God to protect my kids' hearts and minds and shield their eyes. For so many things - that's barely scratching the surface.
I am Mama, but I wish other people could see that. Of course not everyone "gets it." I suppose if you never had to wonder if you would ever have children, or if they came easily, maybe you didn't pray for them for years. Certainly there are women who faced no ferility issues who prayed for their children for years, or months, or days, before they were conceived.
But don't tell me I don't really "get it" because you do not SEE children who call me Mama.
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I drifted over here from a comment you had on Blogher - this caught my eye.
I thought you might appreciate something I've said for years now: "parent is a verb, not a noun." It's something you do, not something you are. It's not like it's 'bestowed upon you' by virtue of a sperm & egg hooking up.
Getting pregnant, giving birth? Those are simply the beginning of the path for some parents - while others' paths start with steps like adopting, or marrying into a family. Parenting is that thing we do day in, day out. It's an "ing" word - like writing, talking, running - and that means that you do it.
Never let anyone tell you otherwise.
Oh, and for the record? I gave birth to my daughter - and pregnancy didn't make me magically good at parenting, I'll tell you that!
Don't ever worry about the people who don't understand that - they have their own issues to deal with.
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