If one more positive hpt gets shoved in my face this month... Or, craptastic, my little sister is pregnant

Yes, this craptastic month just keeps getting better! My little sister sent me a text of her positive hpt this morning. After being told I did NOT want to be told in a text. And I couldn't tell my other sister or mom, because she wanted to tell them Monday at a cookout she's having... And then a couple of hours later, I get a text from our older sister telling me she's sorry that younger sis is a moron (my words, not hers exactly). Now they've decided they just can't wait to tell everyone. Woohoo.
If one more person sticks one more thing they've peed on in my face this month, I may first choke them, then go check myself in somewhere.
My house is hot. My air is still not fixed, and I bullcrap you not, the guy reportedly will be there "whenever he can get there." I'm going home with my large papa jo*hn's pizza, I'm going to pour a mtn dew or 2 over some ice, and eat my pint of Ben and Jerry's even though I had dessert at lunch. I might do some wii boxing, since there are no batting cages in this stupid town. Now let's just hope I don't run into anyone I know while I run get my pizza.