Day 2, currently, sucks a big one. It could be worse, at least the cramping hasn't had me doubled over this time, but I've definitely had my moments of nearly exploding in anger over little things, or bursting into tears for no apparent reason.
Trying to figure out what to do with this blog... We're not really pursuing any treatments. We have no sperm. It's like we've moved beyond the black hole of infertility, and have been sucked into an even bigger black hole, if that's possible. It's pretty safe to say we're done ttc'ing, though I will still keep up with where I am in my cycle. It's pretty safe to say the world claims there's no hope, but as long as I have ovaries and a uterus and AF continues to show her ugly face, I WILL have some measure of HOPE. Baby showers have sucked for a long time - will they suck more because it's impossible for us to conceive, or less because we'll be pursuing adoption? Haven't really decided how to answer those questions that will no doubt be asked about our apparent lack of fertility as we tell more people about adoption.
So while we're really moving on from infertility, I still anticipate IF-related issues. I imagine as we grow our family through adoption, those issues will decrease; at least 2 older couple in our church adopted without ever giving birth, and seem to not have left-over IF issues, but I wonder if that is because those issues went away, or they just learned to hide them? I guess I just want to know where I belong. I've never really cared about being the most popular or fitting in with the "right" group, but everyone wants to belong somewhere. there just really isn't a group of women readily available who would like to get pregnant but can't, are choosing to adopt rather than try high-end ART, and are okay with not getting pregnant yet not. Especially in this tiny little deep South community, where the term "barefoot and pregnant" is an expected term to describe any young(ish) married female. So, what to do with this little space?
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I'm adopted and we plan to adopt... Whenever we hear nasty or ignorant comments, I think back to what my mom used to tell me as a kid (I'm from the south too). There are two types of babies: belly babies and heart babies. She grew my brother in her belly, but she grew me in her heart... (((hugs)))
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