Cricket, cricket, cricket....

[humongous sigh].......
I've been quiet. Did I post that I survived Christmas/New Year's? I did a lot better than I thought I would, but I think it's catching up with me now. Lots of news lately about adoptions and births and pregnancies and turning-five's and findind-out-the-sex-of-the-baby's. Lots of surprising thoughts and questions going through my head...
But do you ever feel like you're just stuck on "repeat" for too long? I'm not blogging because I'm tired of saying the same things over and over. Banging my head into a brick wall. Sure, there have been small changes, at least for small amounts of time... Like before I started dating my sweet hubby, I asked myself what would happen if God wanted me single? Now I'm asking myself the same question, just in a different situation... What if God intends for me to JUST be Aunt NotTheMama? A scary question for someone whose only Christmas (or life, rather) wish was/is/remains a baby. Son, daughter, American, Asian, Martian, I'll take anything. Scary, but something I feel like I have to ask. And my answer, so far, is that life will go on. It will take some getting used to, there will be many more tears and possible more years without a Christmas tree (yeah, my mom's still not over that, by the way), but life has a way of continuing. It's time to "put on my big girl panties and deal with it," so to speak.
So if I continue to be silent, just go back and pick a random post from before, because that's probably what I'm feelin'. Or, I'm at my sister's house, playing the W!! and/or holding the new baby. (Yes, in fact, I HAVE played bowling and tennis while holding a newborn. The Jetson's Rosie ain't got nothin' on Aunt NotTheMama!) And picking up my shirt/pants/random clothing article that I "accidently" left over there, and my sister "accidently" threw in to wash with the baby's clothes.
That's what life with no kids looks like: "borrowing" other peoples' kids and spoiling their babies any chance I get.