VBS-Hopping, infertility, and more

I thought once I hit adulthood (okay, actually once I was finished with elementary school), that I was finished church-hopping for VBS. When we were growing up, our mom would take us to every Bible School at every church in our community. Sure, you ended up with 10 of the same craft, because everyone used the same kits, but it was fun!!! I helped teach the 4-year-olds at my church, and thought I was done for the year... Then my sister needed help, so here I am this week, going to Bible School at one of the churches I participated in Bible School at as a child. My main job has been keeping up with my 2-year-old nephew, and occassionally with my 5-year-old nephew and 4-year-old cousin, depending on who was crying/running away/screaming at me/clinging to me at the moment. It is definitely more fun to go to VBS as an adult who is free to be a kid-chaser! :) I've had a blast. And been called gorgeous by a 2-year-old, after 3 hours of chasing him around in 90 + degree weather.
Then I come home and cry. Because I. Want. That. Tonight, I brought the 2-year-old home with me while my sister was finishing up some craft stuff, and hubby and I entertained him. You know you ***really*** want kids after you chase them all week long, then chase them on your couch and in your living room, and even though the quiet is nice when they go home, you miss them like crazy!! Seriously, it's getting so bad that the last time I cooked at home, I cut up hubby's country fried steak. There have been lots of tears tonight, after the tot left... Hubby and I sat on the couch with a tired baby squirming and wiggling and chattering away, and it was so nice. Hubby brought me my pizza, fixed my drink, etc, which is what I usually do for him, then put everything up after we were finished. He took the baby off my hands for a few minutes when the poor little creature was driving me nuts. (The same poor little creature I cried for when he left hahaha... I've got it bad!) I hid my tears from hubby, because it's not really fair to cry in front of him. I'm supposed to be a strong woman and just handle it, right? I don't want to make things harder on him. Then later, I cried because I knew that (TMI, sorry) our actions did not result in the baby I (we) want. I saw it in his eyes when he was playing with our nephew on the couch... He wants a munchkin, too. And such a good man really does deserve a son that looks just like him, or a daughter with his eyes.... Tears again....
That peace is still there. Isaiah 40:31 keeps coming to mind... They that WAIT upon the Lord, shall renew their strength.... Mount up with wings like eagles..... I'm trying to wait patiently. Wait. Wait. Wait...... There is actually peace in the waiting, even though we live in a world that tells us waiting is bad and we should have the newest, biggest stuff NOW. Peace that God has plans to prosper us, not to harm us, to give us hope and a future. I have peace because I have hope. Not hope that God will give me what I think I want/need, but hope that He knows the perfect plan for me, and if I'll just WAIT, life will be so much better, so much sweeter, than if I try to do things my way.
Wait...