Can I get a key-ring-cell-phone-holder for my near-antique bicycle?

So, since I'm REALLY tired of being asked if I'm pregnant, how far along I am, when I'm due by some, and that no, I don't look pregnant by others, and that I sure have gained some weight since I got married by still others, I have decided it's time for a change!!! I have both my and my sister's bicycles that we rode growing up, bought in either the late 80's or early 90's.... Yes, almost antique-ish.... Things that make you go hmmmm:
**I decided last month that last year, when I was going to a rather secluded spot to run/walk (mostly walk) on an asphalt path behind a lake, that might not have been the smartest idea in the world. Why this didn't seem like a bad idea at the time escapes me. I wore these bright, red shoes, and now I can just see my family on the evening news "She didn't come home, and all we found was one red shoe on the path, and we knew she was gone..." AAAHHHH!!!
**And anyway, running causes my migraines to be worse. Which is also why I haven't stopped the Dr Pe*pper cold turkey either... But hey, I'm down to about 24 oz a day, with none from after work until the next morning, so that's a start.
**One problem... In the hyper-vigilance of my old-married-woman-age, even if I AM just going across the street to the fire department to ride on the paved walking circle thing, I lock the house. Cause you know, the-middle-of-nowhere is so dangerous and all. But anyway. I also take my cell phone, which may or may not have any reception, depending on which part of the track I am on at the time. So today I hung my keyring on the gear shift thingy, and just held my cell phone. But that gets annoying.
**On a side note..... More excitement in the Ghetto. One of the roads I frequently (used to) travel on while making deliveries for work, is known for drugs, gang activity, etc.. So while I was not surprised to read about a robbery (with a gun!!) and shots fired at a woman stopped at a red light (during the afternoon, you know, DAYLIGHT HOURS), I was thinking it was probably on (what I thought was) the worse end of the street, the part I only have to go to once a month. So I had planned to just start going a different way that one time a month, and avoid that part of the road... While making deliveries yesterday, I was on (what I thought was) the less-drug-and-thug part of the road, I was looking at the house numbers, and lo and behold, the robbery was on WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE "SAFE END" OF THE ROAD!!!!! Granted, I've seen what I highly suspected were drug dealers at that red light before. Now, I know for you city-slickers, a robbery is nothing, a gun involved is nothing out of the ordinary.... But come on people, I grew up in "the sticks!!!" So now I'm hoping and praying for a promotion, or at least another driver to travel that road.
**Ahem, getting back on track.... I played a few sports in high school, and of course we had the dreaded agilities during practice... I've thought about going to the back yard and doing the ones I remember (even though I swore I would never do them again after I quit playing sports, and certainly not voluntarily). The only thing holding me back has been how ridiculous I would look. And, you know, that whole migraine thing... But I'm thinking I may try it, and the back yard is somewhat secluded, so probably not many people would see me.... And if they did, as long as they don't ask me how pregnant I am, WHO CARES how ridiculous I look?????