Tuesday, July 28, 2009

I promise I haven't fallen off the face of the earth....

Really, I haven't... So the verdict is (was?) a cyst. After some amount of work-related drama (did I already talk about this?), I decided to NOT wait another month and see "if" it was gonna happen again, so I have been on bcp's for 2 weeks now. I've still had some pain that kind of comes and goes, that dull ache that started all this mess.
Ah, bcp's... The place I never thought I'd go. Let's just say it was a pretty emotional day/decision, and work issues compounded those emotions, but at the end of the day I put on my big girl panties and swallowed my first pill. I've been gradually feeling better, and yesterday I was even productive in some housework I'd been neglecting. Not so much today, but we'll take it as it comes. I've missed all 6 of my babies like crazy, not getting to play like usual and pick them up to love on them, but that's all falling back into place as well. I've even cooked supper the past 2 nights, and plan to do so for the next 2 nights. The only reason I'm not cooking Friday night is b/c we have a R.uby Tues.day coupon that expires. Can't let the BOGO go to waste! ;)
I've also decided it's time to get serious about losing some weight. 20 or 30 lbs would be nice, but right now I'm working on 10. I've got about 5 to go. I just decided that since bcp's sometimes/usually mean weight gain, and I already wanted to lose, it was time to get serious. I'm down to one Dr Pe.pper a day (most days), and trying to cut back even farther... Trying to not buy lunch, but take pb&j and some bread, I've basically cut out snacking, and I'm trying to not eat more than 1 helping at supper. I have some grapes and apples, and actually dill pickles make a pretty good snack. I miss my chocolate, and my powdered donuts with a Coke, but I know it's going to be worth it in the end.
I promise to not be so long in posting next time.... I'm trying to decide where to take this little blog, but I have a post ruminating in my brain about a new movie that came out last week. Maybe in a few days. :)

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Just had final meds for the night. Pain is worse, probably partly due to my going to work. Can't help it, it's the first of the month, and we only get 5 sick days, 2 of mine are gone.
Tomorrow's my appointment. And I've been fine, just kind of in let's-find-out-what's-wrong-and-fix-it-asap-mode, until tonight. I watched a few episodes of LA I.nk on t.lc, where K.ate v.on D had cysts removed. And they mentioned the C-word. And that made me pause for a minute. Yikes. that never crossed my mind!! (Insert huge eye-roll here) I'm sure everything's gonna be fine, and it's probably (hopefully) easily fix-able, but it just makes ya think.
More news tomorrow night.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

More Medical Stuff...

So hubby called the doctor's office I visited Monday morning. I found out that said office did in fact attempt to contact me Monday evening, by leaving a message on my cell. Ya know, after we called them repeatedly from our HOME PHONE NUMBER!!!!!!!! Back to today... They "couldn't tell him anything" because I didn't "sign the Hip.pa release." Ya know, THE ONE THEY DIDN'T OFFER?!?! So she DID manage to tell him that she mailed a letter to me today (ARE you FREAKIN KIDDIN' ME???? Two days AFTER I rolled over and died, you MAIL a LETTER that I may or may not get tomorrow or Friday or next week??????????) She did manage to tell him that all she could say was I need to follow up with my gyn "in the next few weeks." Ya know, AFTER my funeral!!!!!!!!!

Sigh... So I'm not really dying, but c'mon. Their music was way too loud, they were more concerned about who did or did not want B.urger K.ing for lunch than any other patient, one of the nurses was yelling at the others about documentation errors, the flippin' doctor had no CLUE what was going on.... And now all that junk. Somebody is begging for a piece of my (currently, rather med.icated, in-pain and therefore slightly grouchy) mind.

So after 2 years, 2 months of ttc with known extreme male factor infertility, it looks like it's my turn. Yay. I would appreciate thoughts/prayers for Friday @ 3, when I see a *real* doctor. And can I just say, hydr.ocodon.e/ibupro.fen 7.5/2OO, plus half a pro.methaz.ine 25mg is quite the knock-out.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

The Sad, Empty Uterus

So first, I spent the better part of yesterday in doctor's offices and hospitals, and am full of painkill.ers, so if none of this makes sense, you know why. A dull, nagging ache in my lower left abdomen turned into oh-my-heavens-I-think-I'm-dying. Which led to vomitting and a monster migraine, probably from no Dr P.epper and eating 2 crackers all day.
Doc-in-a-box ordered a u/s, so I tried to pay attention. All I saw was a sad, empty uterus. We decided to use an OPK this month, so I was actually half-hoping for an ec.topic. Isn't it sad and somewhat twisted that I've made it to that point, that I would actually want an ec.topic, just so I would know it was actually possible for me to get pregnant? Not that I really knwe what I was looking for, but all I saw was emptiness. You know, except for my bladder that the girl kept pressing on. The current semi-diagnosis is o.varian c.ysts, but I couldn't get in to see my gyn until Friday afternoon.
Yet another sign to move on, ya think? We decide to "try" again (not that we've NOT been trying, mind you, but trying a little harder), and I end up in the ER. I'm not making any decisions while I'm awesomely medicated, but it seems like this may be the end of the trying. Does it make me a sissy that I would give up so easily? There are women who endure a lot more than 24 hours in doctors and er's. My hats off to all of you! I haven't really felt "good" in a long time. AF has gotten worse and worse in more ways than one. And now we're talking cysts. I'm thinking about talking to my gyn about throwing in the towel and going for a little bc. A sad place to be, but it will also free up a lot of time, space, pain, and some money for adoption. 10 months from yesterday... Time to quit trying to be reproductive, and start cleaning up and out my house and heart, to prepare for a little (or big) one that is extremely possible to come home.