Ugh...

Probably off to the doctor tomorrow.... Hoping the nephews haven't shared their flu.... Dizzy... Low-grade fever.... Sinus junk..... Hopefully just sinus infection or hay fever or something. Praying it's not the flu!!!! Back to bed....

Random observations/comments....

#1. So, instead of fighting with 10 or so 4-6 graders while they climb under the table during the sinners prayer and say that going to Heaven is stupid, I decided tonight I would put my college edumacation to good use. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, we went outside, in the (finally!!!) warm sunshine, and played games. Psych major / Rec minor.... Not just any old games, but games with a purpose!! ;) They stayed occupied, I got some exercise, and I kicked some little kid butt at tag!! Gotta love having the longer-arm-advantage!!
#2. Sadly, hubby and I have been exposed to the flu. Even more sadly, it was by 2 of the nephews. Most sadly, they had flu shots!!! So I'm left going, "Is this a flu-headache, or the usual? Is my neck hurting because it always does, or am I getting sick?" Ugh.
#3. I now have baby sea monkeys. At least one thing in this house is fertile! Very. As in, I see new squiggly babies every. single. day.
#4. I decided to skip the 16.9 oz Dr Pepper, and go straight to the 12 oz, yesterday.... After being very bad and drinking various random sodas depending on what was around all weekend. And today, I had a couple of sips, and that's it. And tomorrow, I might have NONE.... Maybe.... Hubby can ahve the remaining DP's! ;)
#5. Playing 500000000 versions of tag HURTS when you get old... But dang it, you WIN!!!

Quick post while I'm burning the house down... I mean, um, cooking supper

Who would've thought, when you fill the pot too full and try to boil chicken, it will overflow.... I knew it was too full, but anyway... On the menu: chicken and dumplings. With canned biscuits, because it's quicker. So shoot me.
Diet and exercise (or so I say...) I've been on the ol' bike twice this week. Did some crunches and jumping jacks and even push-ups yesterday. Now, don't misunderstand, it wasn't a big huge number of anything, but hey.... So yeah and I, of course, had a migraine today. Go figure. Didn't stop me from riding my bike to my parents' house, to take my sister her sweater she left at my house last night. You know, one of those long ones. It wouldn't stay tucked under my arm, so I wrapped it around my neck. I'm sure the neighbors and the rest of the community got a kick out of me looking like a super hero or something.
My car... Is still sick. And got sicker. And is going to require probably one thousand big ones to fix. There was talk of a new car, but we're probably just going to get it fixed, so we won't have 2 vehicle payments. I really didn't want to get rid of it anyway!! But in the course of making that decision, and throwing in a stressful and long day at work, during my deliveries, I was convinced that 20 years from now, we're still going to have zero children, still have no savings, and still be paying the same bills we have now. And of course, people would still be asking me if I was pregnant, because I would still be fat, since I wasnted to go home and attack all the chocolate in the house. Then I got over my drama-queen-ness, and everything is okay. Well, at least my problems didn't seem so big after seeing my mom pretty upset over my grandfather, her last surviving parent... He's not got much time left, nothing really wrong, he's just old, tired, depressed, and missing his wife of over 50 years.
Easter is upon us. which means family getting together, which means being around all the babies, which means everyone asking me all kinds of kid-baby-pregnant questions. And good food, so I'll take it as it comes. I gave my Sunday night kids (5 and under) an empty egg, and their Bible verse was "Hallelujah, Hesus has risen!!" which became "ROSEN!!!!!!!" The empty (plastic) egg was to symbolize Jesus' empty tomb.
So.... I'm getting skinnier (hopefully), my car is on the mend, and Jesus has Rosen!! ;) Happy Easter!

No, really, it's okay... I rode my bicycle Tuesday!!

That has been my motto of the day. Last night I went with my mom to a singing (she plays the piano for a group) and we went out to eat. Just me and my mom!! No kids, mo husbands, no friends, just the two of us!! Of course, no trip to town would ever be complete without a stop at Wally World. I avoided the snacks, the ice cream, just got some bread, but right before we checked out, they had bags of Easter Hershey's kisses right in front of my nose. I've been on a chocolate kick, and didn't have anymore at home, so I just couldn't resist! I took them to work, and all 3 of us were enjoying them. But it's okay, because I rode my bicycle Tuesday!! ;) (I'm still doing good with my drinks, though...) Monday, I will go from 2 (12 oz) bottles, to one (20 oz), then the next week a (16.9 oz), then a (12 oz), then eventually nothing. Or at least, that's the plan. You know, unless I run once a week too. Methinks my clothes are still shrinking....

Can I get a key-ring-cell-phone-holder for my near-antique bicycle?

So, since I'm REALLY tired of being asked if I'm pregnant, how far along I am, when I'm due by some, and that no, I don't look pregnant by others, and that I sure have gained some weight since I got married by still others, I have decided it's time for a change!!! I have both my and my sister's bicycles that we rode growing up, bought in either the late 80's or early 90's.... Yes, almost antique-ish.... Things that make you go hmmmm:
**I decided last month that last year, when I was going to a rather secluded spot to run/walk (mostly walk) on an asphalt path behind a lake, that might not have been the smartest idea in the world. Why this didn't seem like a bad idea at the time escapes me. I wore these bright, red shoes, and now I can just see my family on the evening news "She didn't come home, and all we found was one red shoe on the path, and we knew she was gone..." AAAHHHH!!!
**And anyway, running causes my migraines to be worse. Which is also why I haven't stopped the Dr Pe*pper cold turkey either... But hey, I'm down to about 24 oz a day, with none from after work until the next morning, so that's a start.
**One problem... In the hyper-vigilance of my old-married-woman-age, even if I AM just going across the street to the fire department to ride on the paved walking circle thing, I lock the house. Cause you know, the-middle-of-nowhere is so dangerous and all. But anyway. I also take my cell phone, which may or may not have any reception, depending on which part of the track I am on at the time. So today I hung my keyring on the gear shift thingy, and just held my cell phone. But that gets annoying.
**On a side note..... More excitement in the Ghetto. One of the roads I frequently (used to) travel on while making deliveries for work, is known for drugs, gang activity, etc.. So while I was not surprised to read about a robbery (with a gun!!) and shots fired at a woman stopped at a red light (during the afternoon, you know, DAYLIGHT HOURS), I was thinking it was probably on (what I thought was) the worse end of the street, the part I only have to go to once a month. So I had planned to just start going a different way that one time a month, and avoid that part of the road... While making deliveries yesterday, I was on (what I thought was) the less-drug-and-thug part of the road, I was looking at the house numbers, and lo and behold, the robbery was on WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE "SAFE END" OF THE ROAD!!!!! Granted, I've seen what I highly suspected were drug dealers at that red light before. Now, I know for you city-slickers, a robbery is nothing, a gun involved is nothing out of the ordinary.... But come on people, I grew up in "the sticks!!!" So now I'm hoping and praying for a promotion, or at least another driver to travel that road.
**Ahem, getting back on track.... I played a few sports in high school, and of course we had the dreaded agilities during practice... I've thought about going to the back yard and doing the ones I remember (even though I swore I would never do them again after I quit playing sports, and certainly not voluntarily). The only thing holding me back has been how ridiculous I would look. And, you know, that whole migraine thing... But I'm thinking I may try it, and the back yard is somewhat secluded, so probably not many people would see me.... And if they did, as long as they don't ask me how pregnant I am, WHO CARES how ridiculous I look?????

Sigh... That "Hair-Cut-High" used to last so much longer....

Was feeling a little down towards the end of the week. Wednesday night, I taught my 3 4-6 grade girls, who didn't want to have a lesson because there were only 3 girls there, and went HOME, to my quiet house. I didn't want to see anybody, I didn't want to talk to anybody, I just wanted to be ALONE. Thursday I was grouchy and grumpy but put on a smiling face, did my job, and came home. Friday, wash, rinse, repeat. Except I didn't go home. My older sister called to see if I was busy. She wanted a hair cut, and didn't have anyone to watch her boys. Funny, I had standing in the mirror that morning thinking about how I needed a change. I met her at the local mall, and we took turns watching the boys and getting a new 'do. I shelled out the big bucks, too.
Back in the day, in extremely early college years, a haircut did so much. Difficult times, then, too, trying to recover from some abuse by a former boyfriend, and it's amazing at the control I felt I had when I got my hair cut!! I know, it seems ridiculous now, but then that was all it took to make me feel better for at least a week! The shorter it got, the more control I had, the happier I was, the less I cried. I didn't care that I looked like a boy, it actually kind of helped, because I wasn't wanting much attention from guys, understandably. I didn't want to date, I didn't want to flirt, I just wanted to be left alone.
So, back to Friday. I felt.... Better, but not as good as losing a few inches used to make me feel. Before, even tuff stuff didn't get me down after the, er, mane event. Tonight after church (after my first time teaching (5) 2-6-year-olds, which is actually easier than (3) 4-6 graders!!!), some of us went out to eat. The old group that used to go out every Sunday night, before the rest of them started having kids. One is currently expecting, the other has IF issues and one child that will likely be their only child. Went to a popular restaurant that serves good, country food, where lots of other people go as well. Saw one of my sister's friends from high school, who has a small child with beautiful dark curls, a perfect angel baby... Their miracle child, the child the doctors said would be impossible to have. Now, I would love to be one of those sunny people who said "Wow!! What a miracle!! I'm sure the same will happen for US one day!!!" But I'm more realistic than that. I don't doubt God can, don't get me wrong... If he can make a virgin become pregnant, there's hope for us yet. I know He CAN... But let's face it, I've been called negative before (I'm not negative, I say, just realistic)... No, instead, I look around and see all these babies and big bellies, and wonder why we can't just be normal like everyone else, for once. Why must it be so difficult for us? Then I think about who will one day be our precious child. Not sure about the nationality yet, I don't know what color of skin, hair, eyes, to imagine, but I love that child all the same. I know our family will not be the same without that child. I know we will slip into a routine and wonder what we did before we adopted our kids. I like to believe that one day, it won't matter that I'm a barren woman, and I won't feel so left out when I'm chasing my own children around the store. I won't be the stand-in baby-sitter, or the rescuer of other people's kids, I'll just be Mama.
But it still hurts to watch everyone else do things the "normal" way.... And why do I care about doing this one thing the "normal" way, when I've always prided myself on doing my own thing before? And why does it have to be "normal" to give birth, while so many people view adoption as a second option? Even though I would give a lot (but not everything!) to be pregnant, adoption is far from a second choice. No matter what else our future holds, we WILL adopt.

I tried to make a few posts in Feb, but various random things happened and I gave up each time. Computer froze, I lost everything, I decided I didn't want to post once... Anyway. I'm back. At least for today.
Everything is basically still the same, I'm the "gwatest, best aunt in da whole world," according to the oldest nephew, when he spent the night with us Friday night. All my nephews and my niece are growing so much! They are all lots of fun. Sunday afternoon we had planned to eat at our fav restaurant after church, then go to a nearby camp to play for the afternoon. Well, the 2 youngest boys were sleeping, so the oldest was the only kid. You'd think with 5 adults against one 4-year-old, the odds would be pretty good. Not so. We ran into some family friends, who have elem-school-age kids. Their kids were down at the lake with their dog, probably 2oo feet away from where we were talking. Nephew decides he's gonna go with them. We all look at them a few minutes later, and nephew is IN the water. Just up to his ankles, but IN the water... And NOT stopping!!! He gets up to his waiste before my sister can get to him, and we're all saying "T, STOP!! T, STOP!!!!" but he's not listening, he wants to go swimming like the dog!! It was a little scary... The lake just kind of drops off pretty quickly, there are lots of holes, and "no swimming" posted everywhere. My sister said she was so scared by the time she got to him, that she didn't even think to beat him within an inch of his life. So, that was a short play date. He cried. It didn't do any good, because he still had to go back to Grandma's and take a nap. My sister always has extra clothes, shoes, all kinds of child-and-infant paraphenalia in HER car, but they were in Grandma's car. His little brother, who will be 2 in May, has taken to calling EVERYONE crazy, or at least telling us we are crazy. "I not sing it, you CWAZY!!!" Or "Dat cwazy ol' Mama!"Too funny. Younger sister's little boy (will be 2 in Sept) is starting to talk like crazy. Repeats everything, finally says MY name (sometimes) on command, instead of our other sister's name... If he wants to. Niece filled me in on her Big Day this afternoon. She'll be 5 in Sept, and she sounds like she's at least 10. Just can't remember to give her mom phone messages! Hahaha.... Her little brother (a few months old) is growing and has chubby little cheeks, and smiles, grins, and giggles a lot. I don't get a lot of time with him, because usually niece attacks me when I walk in the door! High maintenance, expects me to play with her and her ALONE!! ;) And finally.... Aunt NotTheMama still goes home with no babies, no kidlets, just a quiet house. And catches up with former classmates who are ALL having babies.
On a side note, I've had migraines for the past 7 and a half years, after a pretty nasty encounter with an 18-wheeler. They had gotten much better, but over the last couple of months, the monster migraines have returned. I was having only 1 or 2 a month, and usually not a really bad one, but now I'm up to at least one, usually 2-3, a week, and I've had lots of monsters. What am I doing about it? Tanking up on the E_X_Cedrin Migraine, and waiting it out until flu season is over.... Avoiding the doctor's office like the plague it has become. Maybe in a few months I'll have it checked out...
Peace!